Jump to content

critique this song


cmjoyce22

Recommended Posts

  • Members

nice tune, man! laid back and easy.

 

the lead guitar right in the beginning and all throughout gave me an allman bros. vibe. nice and nostalgic. nice, easy groove, too. it was fun and relaxing. one of the nice things you did with the tune is that in the change, you really noted it with the drums. (also, the drum recording is surprisingly clear and balanced - despite a bit thin - for the way i'm assuming it was recorded....just goes to show you another benefit to a light touch on the drumset.) the way the drummer changed up the rhythm to that quarter note hit section (with the band following) was very effective. also dug the shaker - don't know if i would have put it that up-front in the mix, though. maybe buried a bit off to the right/left.

 

i had fun with this tune i really liked the whole 'fell asleep on the bus to boston' line. (even though i'm a hardcore yankees fan! lol) if i had to nit-pick, i'd say some of the vocals were sung a bit thin and not well-phrased at times. there seems to be a line in the verse that you repeat with a "yeah" and i thought that weakened the whole thing a bit. (ex. "got off the bus"; "tried to talking to him")

 

in all honesty, i don't know how memorable this tune is for me and i need something stronger to go back to, but i enjoy listening to it quite a bit.

 

good luck,

g

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This really isn't my style of music but I've got to comment on the recording. Very nicely done. The recording quality seemed top notch -atleast from my computer monitors at work. Vocals seemed good and the instrumentation seemed to be done well. Again, though just not my style.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hey, Chris. I liked the track. It managed to keep my interest, which means it balanced on the line between changing and staying the same. For me, there is a little disconnect between the music and the lyric. The words and vocal delivery are very colloquial, and the music is a little too harmonically sophisticated to settle with the lyric. In addition, the lyric tends to be in long phrases, and the melody chops those phrases into pieces that don't stand well on their own.

 

On the positive, I really like the arrangement and all of the instrumental performances, and the vocal performance fits the lyric well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Originally posted by Chicken Monkey

For me, there is a little disconnect between the music and the lyric. The words and vocal delivery are very colloquial, and the music is a little too harmonically sophisticated to settle with the lyric. In addition, the lyric tends to be in long phrases, and the melody chops those phrases into pieces that don't stand well on their own.

 

 

+1

 

I didn't get an Allman Bros vibe from it - more of an American Beauty era Dead or Dead Flowers era Stones sound. I enjoyed it, which is a little suprising since I am personally kind of down on acoustic guitar songs right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Kind of James Taylor-ish. I liked it.

 

I am conflicted about the repetition of the line "Fell asleep on the Bus to Boston." I like it, and I don't like it. It's thematic, but it also sounds like you have nothing else to say. If it was my song, I'd probably do the line no more than twice, and switch it up to something else.

 

Overall, I'd give you a B+.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...