Jump to content

Please review my first song


bluefoot

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Ok.. I really like this.......

 

 

Love the chord selection, guitar riff, hand claps in the chorus, chorus hook......

 

This has got a John Cougar feel and sound that I really like.....

 

The drums sound natural, which I know can take some work when sequencing...

 

The only downside I can see at all is the vocal delivery - it could be performed a bit more forceful, but I understand the difficulty, and my songs often fall down in this area....

 

From a songwriting perspective, it's a song that I would have loved to have written.

 

All in all, I really like this.. Thanks for supplying the MP3 :) I'll add this to my player.....

 

Thanks for sharing! :thu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

thanks for the compliment, I know I am not a singer and I really don't even want to work on it (I'd rather work on my strentgths then try to be mr everything)I just have noone to do it but me at present. anyway thanks it really helps to get feedback (especially nice feedback :) )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Originally posted by bluefoot

thanks for the compliment, I know I am not a singer and I really don't even want to work on it (I'd rather work on my strentgths then try to be mr everything)I just have noone to do it but me at present. anyway thanks it really helps to get feedback (especially nice feedback
:)
)

 

You are a good singer!

 

Work on it. You can do it. Your voice is good, you just need delivery! :thu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I would voice the second guitar part on a different guitar/sound (SC/HB, Strat/LP). Right now it kind of blends together (not in a good way).

 

The chorus clap needs to be way higher (maybe add a tambourine?). More dynamic variation might be nice - it's pretty much the same guitar/bass/drums the whole time. Drop stuff in and out of the mix. I like the open cymbal crash, but it is not enough (vary other dynamic things as well). The solo sounds flown in; it doesn't mix well with the rest of the song.

 

I don't have a problem with the vocals - kind of reminds me of early Smithereens. The guitars do bother me (maybe that's because I care a lot more about guitars than vocals).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

There's been a lot of good advice given so far. The vocal might benefit from a simple volume boost--it really sits in the back.

 

I'd extend rsadasiv's advice re: guitar tones and suggest a broader tonal range. Right now, it's all pretty harsh--snarling guitars, snarling vocals, snapping hand claps. Going with a clean guitar vs. dirty guitar, or guitar vs. organ/piano, etc., helps to highlight the qualities of both. As it stands, it's a little exhausting to listen to all the way through.

 

Edit--I didn't mean to not say anything nice--I also agree with the positives everyone has offered. Good, raunchy tune.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

As far as production, I think panning guitars, claps, etc. a bit more would really help and space the sounds out a bit better. Now it almost sounds like a mono recording, save for a few cymbal hits. Good songwriting, though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I like the song alot, and I do think the vocal delivery could be a little more energetic, but it's not bad as is. I think with this guitar tone you have a stronger bass or synth/organ part would help even out the tone. I also think the dynamics aren't quite as broad as they could be. Also I think the crash/ride cymbal is a little too high in the mix considering the amount of sound in there.

 

That about sums it up, good work. I really like the tone of the solo guitar actually.

 

(One last thing - do you think you could add an octave harmony above the chorus melody? Donno if that's outside your range but I tried doing one and it sounded pretty cool so try it out =D)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

thanks guys as for bass this is the first time I have played so I really have issues there...I just stuck to thump thump on one string...hmm so I need to pan guitars definately will on my next song. I also felt that the song was a bit long but I actually had cut away about a minute and didn't know how to tell as story and make it any shorter. anyway thanks and hopefully I can continue with songs people like but improve the production. Its definately gonna take a lot of work, just doing this once really makes me appreciate the stuff I hear on the radio and even more so the stuff individuals are doing on soundclick, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Originally posted by Floophead3

I like the song alot, and I do think the vocal delivery could be a little more energetic, but it's not bad as is. I think with this guitar tone you have a stronger bass or synth/organ part would help even out the tone. I also think the dynamics aren't quite as broad as they could be. Also I think the crash/ride cymbal is a little too high in the mix considering the amount of sound in there.


That about sums it up, good work. I really like the tone of the solo guitar actually.


(One last thing - do you think you could add an octave harmony above the chorus melody? Donno if that's outside your range but I tried doing one and it sounded pretty cool so try it out =D)

 

 

No way with the octave thing I have like zero range...sadly I hear that too I am gonna get this to my bud and see how it sounds when he sings it...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Maybe add another guitar or keys in the background during the chorus... to boost it a bit...

 

people we talking about pannings... maybe try panning the hand claps left and right instead of center.

 

overall its quite good

 

How exactly did you make the drums?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I liked the vocal performance, the guitar solo, and the loose Keith Richards without the Stones vibe, but I thought the song was a little undistinguished overall. It just seemed a to be lacking in dynamics rhythmically and guitar wise. All in all though not a bad start.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Nice work. I agree with pretty much all the comments that have been posted...especially in regards to the similar guitar tones and panning (overall mono sound). I think the reason that rsadasiv felt the solo was "flown in" is because it's the only part of the entire tune with a wet reverb effect. I think I would take that off and use a dry (or drier) tone.

 

Also...I dig clapping as much as the next guy, but those claps sound lonely! Maybe triple or quadruple track it, so it sounds like you've got a small group of happy clappy {censored}ers behind you. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...