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new song - '1994'


rcb

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Hey everybody...

 

It's been a couple of months since I've been on this forum. Busy, busy...baby plus wife going through a doctorate can equal very little time.

 

This recording has a couple of issues - a couple of flat spots on the vocals, and some weird volume dip in places (bad bounce?). I've been wanting to post it for awhile now, but I was waiting for some time to clean it up a little more. I got sick of waiting. :)

 

Find it here - '1994'

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rcb - that felt a bit long, but I'm not sure how you would trim it down.... The guitar strumming you are using at first feels a bit choppy, I would prefer to hear some longer strums....just a personal preference...

 

Really like the contrasting verses, chorus and bridge. The bridge has some real power to it...... Good lyrics... the songwriting/melody/mood really suits the lyrics....

 

:):D:):D

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this song doesn't need shortening, necessarily. if you're in the mood to go where the vibe takes you as a listener, you'll be there to stick it out. in other words, it's not a long song for the sake of the writer's pretention; it's long because it's long. period. lol.

 

holy cool elliot smith vibe going on in the beginning of this one. it's kind of a cool stray from what i'd expected from you, having listened to your other tunes, i mean. there was a bit of lou barlow there, too. i dig.

 

for me, this tune clearly isn't a hit, but it's got the potential to be my favorite song on the record - amid the hits, if you know what i mean. i loved that electric guitar picking the arpeggiated chords over that acoustic strum, too. it took so long to come in and was beautiful.

 

i didn't love the change on the first listen - i had really gotten married to the low vocals and that strumming pattern. i understand what you're doing, though and i got more into it on the second listen. i dig it for what it is, really. only thing is, i don't think you can go back to that beginning instrumentation like you did at 5:30-ish. i felt like that feel was gone and when you brought it back, i had already buried it. (that's obviously just a personal thought) as a result, when you go up for the second time, it lacks effect for me.

 

i like the ebow stuff you did alot.

 

this is a cool tune. yeah, it needs a bit of a vocal fix, but i like it.

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Hey, Ryan...

 

 

If there is anyway you can make this a download, I'd like to listen to it... I'm on dialup until Monday, and can't listen until then, unless I can download....

 

 

If you can, that'd be great.... As you know, I'm a fan of your tunes...;)

 

 

:wave:

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I think this exists as a piece of art on it's own terms - but I'm not positive I understand those terms well enough to make constructive suggestions.

 

If the music determines the song structure:

+1 on

 

that felt a bit long, but I'm not sure how you would trim it down

and

 

i don't think you can go back to that beginning instrumentation like you did at 5:30-ish. i felt like that feel was gone and when you brought it back, i had already buried it.

 

I think the bridge/inner song from 4:00-5:12 could stand on it's own as a pop song (Lemonheads?), but a pop song does not seem to have been your intent.

 

If the lyric determines the song structure:

By my reckoning, he has just driven all day (4am start + 13 hours = 5pm). Why is he then talking about driving/trying all night? Wouldn't he crash his car into the Atlantic off the Georgia coast around 11pm? I don't want to belabor the point, but I get the impression that one of the reasons it has to be a long song is to mirror the length of the drive, and if the travel time is defining the song structure then the drive itself should make sense.

 

There is a rhythm and sound to a long solo drive (especially if you don't have music) and I can kind of relate that repetitive rhythm and scratchy ambient noise to the acoustic strumming from 0:00 to 4:00.

 

I like specifics and the acrid coffee, am radio, Texas border and Alabama pines were all details that I enjoyed.

 

Bottom line, I think this song is what it is, even if I don't completely understand what that is. It doesn't make my ears bleed and it doesn't sound like anything else I can think of - that is probably as good a reason as any to leave it alone.

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Tamoore - your mp3 is ready...

 

Thanks for the comments, guys. Yeah, it's long, but I didn't set out to make it that way...as rsadasiv said, it is what it is. I don't really think I can trim it down at all. The lyrics and music just play out naturally at 7+ minutes. I do like the fact that several people (not just on this forum) have told me they can feel the lonliness of the early morning highway in the music, but I wasn't trying to mimic the actual length of the drive or be programmatic in any way.

 

Bluesway and rsadasiv - I can see where you guys are coming from, regarding the instrumentation after the bridge (?). I sort of like that dynamic play, though...building up to a huge climax and then dropping down to a whisper is something that's always intrigued me (go listen to "Central Park in the Dark" by Charles Ives, or "Soma" by the Smashing Pumkins for examples). I don't know if I would change anything, but what would you suggest if it were your tune?

 

i didn't love the change on the first listen - i had really gotten married to the low vocals and that strumming pattern. i understand what you're doing, though and i got more into it on the second listen.

 

Even after hearing it as much as I have, that section still seems a tad abrupt, and I'm wondering if it's the vocals. A friend heard it, and basically said that I was blowing my wad too early, singing too strongly over lyrics that didn't need powerful vocals. I think he may be right. It would certainly smooth out the transition, help build the tension, and keep me from popping a vocal chord or two by the end of the song (it hangs at the top of my range for awhile).

 

i like the ebow stuff you did alot.

 

Thanks, but that wasn't an ebow...that was me holding a chord and wacking the back of the neck with a Fender Blender. Cool stuff. :thu:

 

it's kind of a cool stray from what i'd expected from you, having listened to your other tunes, i mean.

 

Yeah, well...I'm interested in many styles. Too many. It's a blessing and a curse. You should hear what else I was thinking of posting. :) Someone in a thread from a couple of months ago used the term "song cycle" to describe an album, and it made me think I should post my Master's thesis, which was a song cycle for medium voice and chamber orchestra (although the voice and piano version is a better performance). Not the type of thing that's usually posted here, but they are songs, after all. Maybe that's next, if I can't record this other tune soon enough...

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Ryan...

 

Thanks for the MP3...

 

I've listened twice now, and listening a third time now...

 

It is a departure from your other stuff. You capture an early morning melancholy desert highway drive here perfectly in the first 4 minutes of the song. I was in the car with you.

 

Very untypical progression... No real chorus/bridge.. It's very linear, which it not a style I'm used to hearing...

 

I love some of the chord in the built up areas, specifically the end of the first section, before it breaks down into the acoustic guitar pattern... Under the "Gone Gone Away" Lyric. Would love to hear some big harmony here, but that's just me.... :)

 

That last chord of this progression resolves so powerfully. Good stuff....

 

Not sure I can offer anything other than I like it. In the context of an album, it would make a totally cool track, I think.

 

Thanks for sharing! :thu:

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...and thank you for listening.

 

I've got a question about the piano for you (anyone, really) - it enters in the middle section...bridge, whatever the frick it is...and in order to tie things together, I bring it back in the last chorus.

 

I'm wondering, though - does it sound Coldplayish at all at that point? Because I really don't want it to. Not that I despise them or anything, but I just don't want that last-five-minute-wrapup-of-a-hospital-drama/comedy-with-piano-and-manly-falsetto sound. A friend who professes to be a "Coldplaya Hayta" claims that I'm safe, but I thought I'd get a second opinion.

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Hey rsadisav, I'm confused by that comment...do you feel that the bridge is weak? Because in your first post, you said "it could stand on it's own as a pop song." :confused: If so, what do you think is weak about it?

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