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Opinions please!


sebmista

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ok so I've been working on this song for about 3 weeks now. I need input from the outside world. What do you like what do you not like? last last part i think i need to re-do the voices, but im an idiot and I lent my microphone out to a friend for a couple days so I might as well get feed back on the song now and change everything i need to when i get it back.

 

http://seb.shadowsdeep.com/lapartida.mp3

 

Thanks alot!!!!!

 

 

EDIT: oh by the way i forgot to mention I wrote the song in spanish.. I'll translate the song for you guys if you want me to!

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As always, your guitar playing excels!!!

There's a lot of hissing coming when the second guitar comes in at the beginning but nothing that bad.

About everything else...

I almost crapped my pants when the drums came in.

I think they are way too loud.

Your voice is too drown out also.

I can't make out the words... I only understood:

 

"Oye amigo, amigo cuentame.... veezzz

bla bla bla aunque fue una estupidez?!?!?!"

 

I don't know... I'm using great headphones so it's definitely your recording. Either tone down the drums (there's clipping because of this also) or make the voices more prominent.

 

Post the lyrics.

That's all for now.

I only listened once.

I'll keep on listening to see what else I find.

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Originally posted by eagle1


I almost crapped my pants when the drums came in.

 

hahahah!!! I agree with you, i added reverb to the drums because a friend insisted i did and it made it louder. I'll fix that. Your def. right on the voices tho.. i need to find a way to make them sound clear and loud.

 

what is clipping?

 

oh and the lyrics are the following

-----------------------------

Noches juntas

las lecturas difuntas

las largas salidas

amistades refundidas

 

oye mi amigo y amiga

cuentame aquella vez

la pasamos tan bien

aunque fueran estupidez

 

================

 

el tiempo pasara

sin darnos cuenta

que las maletas

ya estan llenas

y nos tocara

la partida

pena nos dara... pero

sigue la vida

----------------------------------------

 

the song is about friends and saying bye to them... I'm a student at the Univ. of Florida and Alot of my friends graduated this semester so It kind of inspired me to write the lyrics.

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Originally posted by eagle1

As always, your guitar playing excels!!!

There's a lot of hissing coming when the second guitar comes in at the beginning but nothing that bad.

About everything else...

I almost crapped my pants when the drums came in.

I think they are way too loud.

Your voice is too drown out also.

 

 

+1. Nice guitar playing, good song, pretty bad recording quality but not atrocious. (Are you still recording into the computer sound card?).

 

Clipping is distortion that occurs when the signal level that you send to an audio interface is higher than the interface can handle. For analog converters (like tubes or tape) this might be ok, but for digital converters this is almost always a bad thing. If you have a level meter that is in the red at any point, you need to turn down your signal. I don't have a clock on the embedded browser mp3 player, but I'm hearing some clipping about halfway through the song, immediately after the breakdown.

 

As far as clear and loud on the vocals - you should use a compressor. If you don't already have a compressor Blockfish is free and good.

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ya i noticed around 2:20 the gutiars in the right speaker were kind of clipping/distorted. i think the ride symbol needs to be taken down a notch during the first part with vocals (verse 1?)...but i think the drum levels were good otherwise. also, im not a big fan of the piezo acoustic sound, i think if you recorded the guitars usin a mic it would give them more natural charactor (but then again mabey this is the tone that your goin for)...i just prefer that "hollow" natural acoustic sound as opposed to the "plastic-like" piezo tone. other than that stuff i dig the song and its apparent you are a skilled musician/guitarist/composer.

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thanks for the replys guys!

 

rsadasiv

Yea I'm still recording directly into the soundcard. Maybe now when I get some of my grant money I can fork over a few bucks to get a ... i forgot what they are called.. but you know what I mean. hah...

 

xXTheHerpesXx

I agree 110% about the sound of the guitar.. If you listen in the beggining of the song in the intro, I mic'd the guitar, you can tell because it sounds different from the 1st guitar you hear. The thing is that my mics are pretty bad and if u listen it really doesnt sound that good.. It kind of sounds muffled. So i had to record directly into the card so that i could get a crisp sound... I want to buy one of those shure microphones ASAP because those sound amazing..

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ToxicBass

 

haha my bad toxic.. they probably wont rhyme.. they might not even make sense.. alot of stuff is lost in translation but I'll do my best, here they are..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

nights together

dead lectures (readings)

long nights out

re-established friendships

 

hey my friend and friend

tell me about that time

we had such a good time

even though though we did silly?? things

X2

==========================

 

time will pass

with out us noticing

that our suitcases/ludgage

are/is already packed

and it will be time

for our departure

sadness we will have

but life goes on

----------------------------------------------

 

there ya have it!

 

JazzManRoper

 

Thats actually a really good idea.. I'm going to see if I can rearrange the intro to have the harmonics in the beginning!

 

 

I'll have a new version up in about 3 days then! with some volume editing - voice redoing and hopefully intro changes!

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I don't nessisarily think the drums are too loud.. its just that everything is stepping on everything else. Use more panning and eqing to give things more space.

 

Lots of cliping.. this is good at all

 

Nice playing on the geetar

 

Sweet little tune that could have potential if the recording wasn't getting in the way.

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Now that I have the lyrics, I guess they are alright but ... uhhhh... since when you don't speak Spanish!!!????? lol just kidding

There's a line there that is gramatically incorrect and although it kind of makes sense it is still wrong:

 

Noches juntas

las lecturas difuntas

las largas salidas

amistades refundidas

 

oye mi amigo y amiga

cuentame aquella vez

la pasamos tan bien

aunque fueran estupidez

 

================

 

el tiempo pasara

sin darnos cuenta

que las maletas

ya estan llenas

y nos tocara

la partida

pena nos dara... pero

sigue la vida

 

----------------------------------------------------------

 

Note what is in BOLD above.

This line has got to go or has got to be modified.

The way it should be said is:

 

la pasamos tan bien

aunque fueron estupideces

 

You tried to make it rhyme and it does rhyme somehow but I don't think it's correct. ;-)

 

The song is pretty cool, you are a great player.

A better recording interface and damn... your creations will take on another dimension!

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haha, Eagle your correct. I actually noticed that too after I had laid down the vocals and had a listen.. then I tried to add "estupideces" in but it just doenst flow... So I left it like that untill I can figure out what to do.

 

It's gonna take me a little more time to spiff up the song, my dad was visiting me and I just started up classes again. But I'm definatly going to do all the changes. I think this song will turn out to be my best so far.

 

Again thanks for all the comments!

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hey man, this is pretty stuff!

 

i know people are liking the guitar, but i'm feeling like the whole prod is a bit more about the guitar technique than it is the song - supported by the slappy bass break. (that's a bit out of the pocket, by the way)

 

i think the guitar is stepping all over itself a bit too much in the beginning - and the lead is clouding everything up....(including that scaley lead you have in the back end of the tune)...also, your leads aren't really saying much. you obviously know your scales....now use the notes as a 'note pool' more than riffs. i know what it is you're doing; the three-notes to a string forms - getting that legato triplet thing happening. i think you're capable of better.

 

i dug the straight sixteenth drum part after that lead guitar...nice feel change.

 

i have to admit, i'm totally lazy and i didn't read anyone else's comments much more than the first two lines, so if someone hit on this, sorry for the repetition, but i think your form needs a little revisiting. now i'm not saying that you should totally make this a predictable pattern song, but define your 'out' better and take me to the hook in a more clear way. i get the feeling that this is a more progressive-type tune, and i love it, but there was no sense of climax here. it was all just a bunch of nice sections one after another.

 

all in all, this is a great effort and i think it's only going to get better.

 

good work,

g

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