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Start Of A New Song (Feedback Appreciated)


bobc

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I was messing around with a pretty cool (ay least I think) melody change and came up with this. The words are just filler for now, but I wanted to get the feel of the song down before I lost it.

 

I think that the chord and melody change is pretty cool, and would like other oppinions as well. It's only about a minute and a half, but I think I could turn it into a pretty good song with some more work.

 

I would appreciate any feedback...

 

http://home.comcast.net/~bcalvanese/i_got_time.mp3

 

Thank you all in advance...:)

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Vocals aren't my taste. Don't like the way you say "time" on the first occurance of the word.

 

I do love that you only use four chords though. I am a big fan of few chord songs but you have Amaj7, Dmaj7, Cmaj7/G, Fmaj7/C - all maj7 chords. Now maybe you could make this work as there are no rules in music but the static harmonic matrieal is going to demand excellent melodies that are going to create some momentum and variety.

 

The first verse,

 

"I'm just wasting the time away/ Every single day/ hoping to find my way,"

 

Is very nice. I like it. That part I think you should keep. Why didn't you repeat it though? The rest is weak matireal and poorly developed. The unprepared and waaaaaaaay to premature modulation/tonicization of C major seemed like an excuse for a change once we end up back at A major once again; it was intriguing but a let down in the end.

 

I think that you should repeat the 1st verse again with different words obviously but with approx. the same melody. Repeat it also after a first chorus.

 

Work on a new melodic idea for the chorus though. The words are fine. Strong melodic matireal will make up for the as mentioned static chord progression as well.

 

Good work.

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Vocals aren't my taste. Don't like the way you say "time" on the first occurance of the word.


I do love that you only use four chords though. I am a big fan of few chord songs but you have Amaj7, Dmaj7, Cmaj7/G, Fmaj7/C - all maj7 chords. Now maybe you could make this work as there are no rules in music but the static harmonic matrieal is going to demand excellent melodies that are going to create some momentum and variety.


The first verse,


"I'm just wasting the time away/ Every single day/ hoping to find my way,"


Is very nice. I like it. That part I think you should keep. Why didn't you repeat it though? The rest is weak matireal and poorly developed. The unprepared and waaaaaaaay to premature modulation/tonicization of C major seemed like an excuse for a change once we end up back at A major once again; it was intriguing but a let down in the end.


I think that you should repeat the 1st verse again with different words obviously but with approx. the same melody. Repeat it also after a first chorus.


Work on a new melodic idea for the chorus though. The words are fine. Strong melodic matireal will make up for the as mentioned static chord progression as well.


Good work.

 

I appreciate the cratique, but this is not even a song yet. I was messing around with some chord changes, and came accross this very basic idea, so I clicked on record so I could capture that feeling later.

 

I just thought it was a kindof neat change is all. I don't even know the names of the chords (without looking them up)...:). The words where just words made up in my head as I went along so I could have something to sing instead of humming the melody. I did drag the last part out a bit because I could not think of anything else at the moment.

 

I don't know that much about the technical side of music so I don't understand most of your post, but thank you for taking the time to listen and post a response.

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For being just an idea, it sounds good.

I believe you should develop it.

Of course, add a little more variation regarding the chord progression

so that it doesn't turn out to be boring nor dull.

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