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Lyrics about...hehe-Love


MoonMax

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I wrote this about 8 years ago, but never finished the whole thing. Do you guys think it's worth finishing (the memory of it hit me in the head lately and I feel confused) ?

 

Here it is:

"Friends can't be lovers"

 

I know all your smiles

I know hidden lies

I wanna touch treasure inside

 

How can't you believe in your own dreams?

How can you say, you don't know what I mean?!

 

But!

Friends...friends - can't be lovers

 

I have read - now I write

What I've heared - I will whisper in your ear

Won't you hear - final desire

 

How can't you believe in your own dreams?

How can you say, you don't know what I mean?!

 

But!

 

Friends...friends - can't be lovers (repeted)

 

__________

 

That's it. What do you think?

 

Being new here, I wanted to say Cheers to all!

 

MoonMax

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Yeah... I think you've got the start of what could be a good song there... you've got an idea/inspiration/subject and that's one of the biggest humps for a lot of us to get over.

 

Of course, as you suggest, it needs finishing... fleshing out. Maybe you could give us a little history on the friendship...

 

Show us why the friendship is valuable so that we know what's at risk, maybe try to hint at both characters' sensibilities.

 

Maybe try flipping the situation in your mind to try to get inside the other person's thinking; then you can have "her" do or say things that suggest her point of view. And have the first person character (the singer, as it were) maybe show us some things, too, perhaps, in addition to what he "says" to the object of his friendship/longing... that way we can maybe get a bigger picture... Of course, that's just one possible route. There are all kinds of possibilities.

 

 

Go for it.

 

;)

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I really enjoy your opinions guys.

 

Kendall, I already did some music, so what you said was very funny(coolwise)! I wrote it as a rock song, but hell ya, this could be a song with smooth bigband sound behind it. I maybe even give it a try some day. Thank for that!!!

 

That's a funky thing blue2blue. English is my second language, so please tell me, how did you actually understand the song? I thought that saying "I (now) want to touch treasure inside - But! Friends..." makes it cleare, that The Guy wants more, but he gets rejected by the words "(sorry, but!) friends can't be lovers(what we have now is precious). What do you think?

 

Thanks guys!

MoonMax

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I think it could be a real pop-rock hit. The Friends! Friends!-Can't be lovers- part has enormous hook potential.

 

 

Thanks, that's nice. I've been always wondering, "the Hook" is something catchy, right?

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A song hook can be an especially catchy melody part... a cool rhythm, a riff, a bassline, a cool chord change... a novelty or special effect of some kind, a spoken word bit or sound effect, a repeated figure, a clever turn of lyrics, a fun rhyme -- even a particularly interesting drum fill or part.

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