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Truth In The Lies -Patient Dreams


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It's not bad, but I think the vocal melody is unimaginative at best. Get some motion, the melody right now puts me to sleep. If you really really love that melody so much you can't part with it. Put in some interesting harmonies. The trick to keeping the melody interesting though, especially in this kind of song, is motion. Right now it's far too stationary. Add some nice leaps and runs.

 

Oh the contrary, I like the guitar. Lyrics aren't anything amazing, but they're acceptable.

 

I think there's some potential here to get a great song out of what right now is a mediocre song.

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I think there's something there... but I was looking for that -- uh, you should pardon the expression -- moment of truth in the song where the whole truth/lost in lies/relationship thing would click together and you'd go... ah...

 

It's not bad at all... but it's lacking that catalytic moment when things crystalize -- and I think it could have such a moment. But, of course, it's not easy to get to the heart of a song/feeling/idea. And the notion of two people who are so lost in the lies they've been telling each other -- and themselves -- is not exactly virgin turf... it can be hard not ploughing someone else's furrows. (So to speak. I dropped out of 4H as soon as I heard you had to sell the animals you lovingly raised for slaughter -- I'm not giving something a name and then eating it.)

 

 

On a completely non-songwriting thing... I can't help but feel like there's WAY too much reverb on a lot of elements if not everything -- most notably the vocals... I don't care how self-conscious the vocalist is (he shouldn't be, he sounds like a bigger, beefier Neil Young, I can really see the guy in my mind's eye)... all that reverb is not an enhancement. It makes him sound like he's shouting at us from the back of the hall. Get him up in our faces -- I think I'd like that... Also, the bass is through some kind of phase/spreader thing. I think it really further muddies things up. Dry this puppy up and I think it might sound pretty good. One last thing... I'm not absolutely sure about the self-duet thing... I wasn't crazy about it with Elvis Costello's stuff in the 80s and I think it really undercuts what could be a nice, sincere, naturalistic kind of sound, here. I think you've got a lot to work with with this song, it just needs a little bit of tinkering.

 

:)

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Some good points brought up which you can take back to the studio and play with. The back up "Where's the truth in all the lies" would be jazzed up with a tad of harmonies. I don't mind the melody....but I could use some harmonies. I agree with the reverb thing - just for clarity. Good Songwriting - real blue collar feel to this.....:thu:

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Thanks for the reviews so far. Blue on the lyric thing. She was trying to not give anyone a lesson, teaching or story with a happy ending. She's trying to portray to anyone listening that "Hey do ya ever have this problem". Kinda leave it up to the person listening to let their mind take it somewhere and create their own conclusion to any lesson if any that can be learned. Conclusive -No. Inspiring -Hopefull.

 

Idol - on the singing thing. Other than the on going thing or reverb, on the chorus we are trying to figure out what to do about either harmony or a different voice with maybe the base voice. Anymore opinions are greatly appreciated.

Thanks again for the reviews so far

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