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"Individual Matters"


animal69

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"Individual Matters"

© 2007 Roughcut Records all rights reserved

 

ridiculous pressure, expectations

ludicrous people, a dangerous nation

black boots marching forward in lock step

conform and obey; what you get you accept

 

why dont i matter?

i thought things would work out somehow

i dont matter to noone

shouldn't i have a life by now?

 

im wasting away, life is going by too fast,

trying every day to escape my own past

holidays suck, i hate my whole family

life is just {censored}ed with noone to help me

 

why dont i matter?

i thought things would work out somehow

i dont matter to noone

shouldn't i have a life by now?

 

we're all just whores at a cheap motel

guns to our heads; a nighmarish hell

struggling to meet lifes expectation

we cheerfully invite our own violation

 

nothing seems to matter

failure bombs us from high in the air

we'll see our dreams shattered

we'll each die alone and we just dont care

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I feel unable to critique lyrics when they are just written down like that - I need to hear them sung or at the very least read out. We talked about the difference between poems and lyrics a little while ago - that is the crux of the matter - lyrics are not poems (which can stand alone on a page). Of course, I could critique them just by reading them, but then I would have to approach them as if they were a poem, an approach that will hardly lead to the right conclusions. Just my feelings about it.

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i dunno... its kind of all over the place

 

Yeah... but I do think a lot of us have felt that way.

 

 

I think there's more expression than craft here but sometimes the torrent of that expression can develop its own internal aesthetic that works by its own rules. If something like these lyrics was combined with a powerful and sincere musical expression of them, the totality of it and your performance might make it all work.

 

But, you know, I can't see it becoming a lounge standard... ;)

 

 

I think there might be a more artful way to hook up all these disparate (and slightly desperate ;) ) feelings of youthful angst into a tight, coherent package.

 

It's a pinnacle of its genre -- but I can't help but cite the Alice Cooper song "Eighteen" ]Bruce, M./Buxton, G./Cooper, A./Dunaway, D./Cpl. N. Smith] as a true success in that. If you look at the lyrics (and you should always be careful on lyrics sites -- there are a handful of them that try to get you to load malware/adware/or worse) you'll see that there isn't a whole lot there but what it is is well chosen to convey the sense of being that age -- feelings unique to the age, yet nearly universal to young adults. But that's that song. Your song wants to be what it wants to be.

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though blatant, the first verse is good...

 

the second verse...imho...should be discarded.

 

stick with the impending fascist regime theme...its much more timely than the stale-ass teen-angst that was 1st misapplied to the nirvana period and now over-indulged by innumerable bands with no substance or distinction....

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Okay, let me comment on it despite my reservations as stated above... On the whole I quite like it. Teenage angst and anger is what I hear - very rock n roll! However, since I am no longer in that age group, this type of thing doesn't excite me as it once did. Now, I am thinking...

 

"i hate my whole family"

 

I don't think this will win you much sympathy since you have made no attempt to justify your hatred. For people already in tune with your emotions, this objection of mine is irrelevant however.

 

"we'll each die alone and we just dont care"

 

The human race bound for extinction? I don't think so. Further, I think you do care. In fact, I know you do! That's what this whole song is about.

 

But as I said, on the whole quite good. This could certainly work given the right music and singer etc.

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Yeah I think it could use some work for sure. I'm 28 actually so maybe I'd look like a clown singing it. Anyways my grandfather hit me with a fireplace utensil last christmas and as I was driving home from his house, full of anger (and drugs), I got into a near fatal car wreck. I've had about 15 surgeries removing debris and dead tissue from my left arm. I got even more hooked on painkillers. Really only a few members of my family made any effort to contact me and I was distraught by that and felt like nobody gave a {censored}.

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Yeah I think it could use some work for sure. I'm 28 actually so maybe I'd look like a clown singing it. Anyways my grandfather hit me with a fireplace utensil last christmas and as I was driving home from his house, full of anger (and drugs), I got into a near fatal car wreck. I've had about 15 surgeries removing debris and dead tissue from my left arm. I got even more hooked on painkillers. Really only a few members of my family made any effort to contact me and I was distraught by that and felt like nobody gave a {censored}.

 

I am deeply sorry to hear that, my friend. That is awful! I do hope you will recover fully soon.

 

Perhaps it is still much too close for you to write about, but what you tell us here in prose really is material for some very powerful lyrics. Just relate the events as they unfolded, and the song will come to you. That is the most optimistic and positive thing I can suggest.

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I am deeply sorry to hear that, my friend... what you tell us here in prose really is material for some very powerful lyrics. Just relate the events as they unfolded, and the song will come to you.

 

 

I agree. I think you make the very common mistake of telling us what you feel instead of why you feel it. When I read your lyrics I wasn't impressed, but I am impressed by the real background story. Throw out the "dangerous nation" stuff (put it into another song) and put in words about why you feel the way you do. The listener will connect and feel the same way without you having to tell them to.

 

This lyric definately needs a rewrite which will make it much, much better. Make sure you repost when you do!

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why did your grandfather do that?

 

 

I was sort of dragging my feet getting ready for christmas eve, I had just woken up in the afternoon. I was still buzzing from drugs I took from his cabinet (although he was unaware I was on drugs). In a sense I can't completely blame at everyone else, I was a trainwreck, most people wake up before 5:00 pm. I don't think I deserved what happened but that's life, I'm grateful to be alive and still have a working arm and be clean now.

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