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An old one by me


Greenside

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Hey musicians,

 

I've wrote some songs in the last year. Since this I've visited a vocal-teacher and go there now regularly. I've uploaded one of this songs on youtube and would be happy if you could rate it in this thread.

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=w851rauH-tg

 

Thanks and greetings from the dark germany.

 

Michael

 

Update: Please don't complain because of some words that are missing :)

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Well - it sucks. There you have it. It really does. Most of all because it is nearly impossible to discern the ideas and your goal. It COULD be/become a good song, but then it needs a lot of work. This is a songwriting forum and as such we tend/try to comment on the songwriting and leave production out, unless specifically asked to judge that. But in some cases production is so poor, that it actually ruins the song completely.

Now - don't be sad or angry. I have done far worse in my earlier days. Maybe with help from this forum you might actually develop a lot faster than I did.

You need to determine, if you just want to record some ideas and sounds of the guitar and just listen to yourself (which I believe is the reality here) or if you want to write the song. If you want to write the song, try to record with a westernguitar using 2-3 fingered chords or open chords or whatever you like, skip the drums, and just sing to the guitar. Does it work?

What you've actually done is presenting us with a very sketchy and rudimentary idea of a song, with some added wall-to-wall guitar. So there is elements of both an idea for a song AND some (poor) choices productionwise.

Try to record as I said and then repost. I would be happy to hear it all stripped down and give you my comments on the song.

 

And another thing is, that in this forum, it is good etiquette to actually provide others with your input to their material, before asking the same of them. No big deal though, I did just like you when I first got here. But if you'd like to see people giving advice and input, you might want to start do the same to others. Otherwise you will find it a bit lonely here ;)

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