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"Can you see the teardrops Daning Around My Eyes


melody20008w

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A virtual flurry of activity melody. :)

 

A lot of stuff in this lyric. The first couple of verses seem to address the problems of the world, but then much of the song seems to focus on race relations/MLK etc. I guess my initial thought is that it needs to decide what it wants to be when it grows up. :) In other words find the focus of what you are trying to say exactly, the core idea. Given the title (btw I have no idea if you can edit the subject or not -- some forums you can, others you can't) the core question is "What are you crying for?" The Earth, Mankind, the oppressed, the death of hope? I think if you focus on the answer to that it will help you clarify your verses and chorus.

 

Hope this is helpful and hope you stick around. I see a lot of promise in your work.

 

KAC

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how do you cancel ..membership..

 

Moderator Blue2Blue can probably delete your moniker if you do not want your name/copyright attached to it, then you can choose another.

 

It is not really necessary to list your real name and copyright here and for a number of reasons may not even be desirable.

 

I hope you will stay in some form or another. :)

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