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Storytime- some lyrics... Too out there?


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Hey I wrote this song recently. I have recorded it but I lost all my files reinstalling windows! :cry: But I want to know what some of you think about the lyrics and whether they are too "out there" for pop appeal. Keep in mind I mostly write for myself and my cat but would like to market my act sometime this summer. This song was inspired by my 4 year old cousin and I tried to see things from her perspective...

 

Story time

 

I had a good time in my world today, walking around

Walking around the way I go meet birds everyday

They shuffle and talk, they shuffle and talk

to me when I am in their way.

"Move" said the birds, "Move" said the birds

are funny when they look at me.

I laugh and they fly, laugh and they fly... fly...

 

Pre-chorus

 

I wonder where they'll go when they're gone.

They enjoy the whole world.

We got a box. On a lawn.

Is it better than living in the wild?

Your arguments don't mean much to a child...

 

Chorus

 

Story time is sunrise to moonlight.

I know I know what happens, but read it to me anyway.

 

Verse

 

The ceiling fell down in my room one time,

Mom picked it up, mom picked it up

Three feet reflected in her eyes, twinkling high

Twinkling high above us are the stars at night,

Watch how they glow, watch how they glow

like so many blue fireflies

Frozen in time, frozen in time... time...

 

 

I wonder where they'll go when they're gone.

They enjoy the whole world.

We got a box. On a lawn.

"I can reach them" she said, with a smile.

It really doesn't seem far to a child... to a child...

 

Chorus

 

Story time is sunrise to moonlight.

I know I know what happens, but read it to me anyway.

 

Bridge

 

I'm swimming in fables, for pretend

I wonder when this will be a picture on a table

in my head

 

Verse

 

S-E-Q-U-O-I-A ...why follow when,

Why follow when half of the fun is in wondering,

How I'm doing?

 

 

All comments very much appreciated! Thank you.

 

-light

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I don't know dude. They're not too "out there," but I'm having trouble imagining anyone singing this song...let alone anyone listening to it. It all feels very dreamlike and nonsensical, which can be cool, but something feels odd about these lyrics. They don't stir anything in me.

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Hahaha. I know what you mean. Trust me it works better in song format. But thanks for taking the time to read them at least. I was pretty much going for that nostalgic, longing for childhood vibe. But I wanted to say it in a more abstract sort of way. It was one of those moments where you write a lot right away and then finish it 3 months later. I guess it probably means more to me than anyone else... which is okay by me.

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"I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park South. I was wondering if it would be frozen over when I got home, and if it was, where did the ducks go? I was wondering where the ducks went when the lagoon got all icy and frozen over. I wondered if some guy came in a truck and took them away to a zoo or something. Or if they just flew away."

 

J.D. Salinger - Catcher in the Rye

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Backup, dude, backup! I can't believe in this day and age people still lose all their files.


KAC

 

my brother and I had a list of all the stuff we wanted to transfer. We didn't consult it before the final reboot. Hence, I lost my sound files, but it's almost a good thing because I can start with a clean slate. It's actually been liberating. And my computer runs fast now! :) Apparently my problem was I was missing this essential xp file so ... wipe it clean ... problem fixed.

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