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Lobotomy (get on the danca floor...)


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Hello, been working on this song and was looking for some feedback. I am trying to get a satirical Zappa vibe, wondering how it flows...have a feeling it might be kinda repititous and boring...

Any thoughts/critiques are much appreciated!

Streaming:

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6528625&q=hi

 

And the lyrics:

Lobotomy(get on the dance floor

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HAHAHA, this is awesome. They lyrics very craftily tell the story and the music seems to fit the story well. The first solo is timed perfectly, it gave the illusion of that being the "surgery".

 

If I were writing this song and recording it, I would have possibly sampled the Ramones' "Teenage Lobotomy" towards the end where you were saying lobotomy. But that's just me.

 

The music does seem a little repetitive but not enough to deter from the song. I may have switched it up after the solo and maybe ran that riff upwards or something like that.

 

And that pink shirt goes great with that light blue/purple jacket.

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HAHAHA, this is awesome. They lyrics very craftily tell the story and the music seems to fit the story well. The first solo is timed perfectly, it gave the illusion of that being the "surgery".


If I were writing this song and recording it, I would have possibly sampled the Ramones' "Teenage Lobotomy" towards the end where you were saying lobotomy. But that's just me.


The music does seem a little repetitive but not enough to deter from the song. I may have switched it up after the solo and maybe ran that riff upwards or something like that.


And that pink shirt goes great with that light blue/purple jacket.

 

Hey Brian, thanks for checking out my song...its cool that you picked up on the 1st solo being the "surgery", and the verses that follow, post surgery...that's what I was trying for. I was trying to pay homage to The Ramones with that "lobotomy" thing at the end.....wasnt sure if I could sample them legally for the song...(although this song will never go any were anyway...:freak:). I toyed with the idea of changing the key after the solo , but for some reason, the groove just seemed kinda solid the way it is....

Thanks again for taking the time to listen and comment, I appreciate it!

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Funky and fine. Really compelling use of the wah (especially the first solo) and excellent guitar work all around. The chord progression (4 3 2 .. 1) could use a little spicing up (especially if you want to play up the Zappa angle), but it's serviceable enough as is.

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