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Take a look at my cliche and trite lyrics!


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This is a song that I wrote in about 30 minutes all in my head for the music and a notebook to jot down the lyrics as they came to mind.

 

It's a fairly simple song that will be recorded with distorted guitars in the vein of Jet, as much as I detest them, the songs simplicity but catchiness seems like their song Cold Hard Bitch.

 

The fact that I was able to write this song when all I want to do is write exisitential and morose lyrics is a bit of a slap in the face to me, but I can only do what I can do.

 

 

Devil Woman

 

Leave me Devil Woman

Why won't you leave me be?

Leave me Devil Woman

You're the very best thing that's ever happened to me

 

With your long, long legs

and your jet black hair

Snake skin boots

and cold, dark stare!

 

Tempting with your smile

Luscious lips so red,

A heart so chilling

it could shake up the dead!

 

Leave me Devil Woman!

Why do you do this to me?

Leave me Devil Woman,

Never such a thing ever happen to me

 

(call and response with vocals and guitar)

 

Devil!

Devil!

Devilllll!

 

(guitar solo)

 

That's all I have for now, I know it's not really that great but I think it could be okay when I can provide a sample of what it will sound like and all that

 

 

Thanks guys!

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As some here know... I am the king of trite and cliche! I like those lyrics a lot. Very rock and roll. Only comment is the hair and boots get too close to the Jet thing. I'd change that to be safe... 'cause the rest of it rocks. Actually so does the bit I mention but it's too close.

 

I like shake up the dead a lot.

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Yeah, I agree with you on that part of the lyrics. I've been stuck at my parents' house for the summer with no real access to musical instruments at all, so I've spent the majority of my days watching youtube videos of Rachmaninoff and Debussy performances and somehow I wrote this, haha. I guess that's how it works yeah? I should be getting back to the beach later next week and I can actually notate everything out for the benefit of people here. I've got the melody and chord progression and solo all in my head already, I'm just not so sure what key I'm hearing in my head, but I'll figure that really fast when I get back to my piano.

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Well... it ain't Lenny Cohen... :D But it's pretty R'n'R, for sure.

 

I think writing the occasional, relatively mindless ditty is not just good discipline but it can teach us a little something about making our regular work more accessible.

 

I've learned a lot from mindless ditties... ;)

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I like the lyrics. They're very simple, yet it still brings a certain image and feel to mind without going too in depth. Applied to the right music, the lyrics will be great.

 

One thing I need to improve on is being ok with writing simple lyrics to get my point across. I try so hard to create an image or use metaphors. Sometimes it just jumbles the mind a bit too much. Simple, straight-forward lyrics are refreshing if used correctly. I like it!

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I've been working on the lyrics and their delivery for most of the day. I had at first pictured it as a moderate pace rock song but as I've been singing it and adding more inflection on the vocal delivery, it's slowed down quite a bit and may do very well over an acoustic guitar in a quasi-folk delivery. My big focus at this moment is my range and how can I delivery the best sound that I can.

 

When I did choir and singing groups through high school and my freshman year of college, I always got put in the second bass position due to my range, when I trained and practiced much more efficiently, I could get down to C#2 or C1 and go up at my most comfortable to a D4. As far as second basses go, it's not a bad range at all and I feel that I have a very solid head voice. I can't wait to record this and see how it goes

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Looks cool. I like it, that means I think it could be popular. It could work on the radio. I want to hear an mp3 of it.

 

You might be careful about the "Whole Lotta Love" stuff. I remember reading that Led Zeppelin got sued for copyright infringement for "Whole Lotta Love".

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With your long, long legs

and your jet black hair

Snake skin boots

and cold, dark stare!

 

 

Hehe... That's about the same lyrics from a Jet song, same layout, same rhythm, same idea.... Just mixed up the words a bit....

 

 

Big black boots,

long brown hair,

she's so sweet

with her get back stare.

 

 

Just fix that part, and I'm sure it'll work.

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