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Concept-album style lyrics


rock-lobster

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I think you did well on creativity. Switching perspectives was a good idea. I liked your choice of words as well. The ryming was all "ABAB," something that generally gets boring to me, but I think it fit the song in this case. I also like how you ended the song with your character killing his father. Ultimately, you have a good song here. Good work dude.

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First impression: I'm impressed.

 

The work within the piece from multiple perspectives was done with very different voices and the duality should come across well assuming the musical expression of both perspectives/personalities is handled as well as the lyric has been.

 

The rythym works well for me in the second and third sections. I think you might do well to rewrite the first section as you've suggested, but I do not think it is necessary from a compositional standpoint and I think the fact that the son's voice eventually takes on the cadence and structure of the father's is very appropriate to the work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I found your introduction very troubling. I hope she's home and safe today.

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