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first time poster to this area


popthree

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i don't really have the recording thing totally figured out.. my production skills are lacking... i try to keep things simple and lo-fi

 

:eekphil:http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=7271539&q=hi

 

"spinning down"

 

Where did your time go?

Steel eyes looking back at you

Tobacco stained fingers, your hearts beating dark, deep, black

Beaten down

Lets kill the joke

Don

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Welcome to the Songwriting Forum.

 

The basic mission of the forum is the discussion of the art and craft of songwriting and offering assistance with feedback and constructive criticism on new songs and other works in progress. Of course, giving thoughtful comment requires some time and energy.

 

Like so much in life -- what you get out of it will likely depend on what you put in...

 

I hope you'll share your insight with others when they're looking for critiques -- it's a great way to let people get to know you. And the more that people know you as someone who is willing to help out, the more eager they'll be to help you when you're looking for some good ol' constructive crit.

 

:)

 

blue2blue

moderator, songwriting forum

 

_________________________

 

An interesting, dark song.

 

The impressionistic lyrics convey a sense of futility and hopelessness and then take that a little farther to end on a down note...

 

It seems well crafted and focused on conveying that overarching sense of hopelessness. Perfect to put on when you're feeling so low that the only place to go is up. Maybe... ;)

 

_________________________

 

 

PS... don't worry about recording quality for us... This is the songwriting forum, not the production forum. We tend to focus (hopefully) on the song, not the performance or recording.

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well, i'm intrigued to hear what people think of my song, but i hate to offer anyone guidance/opinion on how to improve their own song, as i have no measurable success at it myself

 

 

If you have ever paid for a song or record you are qualified to have an opinion.

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i hate to offer anyone guidance/opinion on how to improve their own song, as i have no measurable success at it myself

 

 

 

Ah, but you do.

 

You recorded this song, something that I tend to see as an extension of the songwriting craft. You stuck some delays in there, worked the mic a little and sang us your tune.

 

There are those of us here who post great lyrics but haven't quite got around to recording them. Perhaps your perspective as a recording songster will prove helpful sometime.

 

And I like the song......even if it is a bit depressing. Work on your delivery.....see how the cadence fits with the music to make it all come together.

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If you've got ears and a brain, you've got the qualifications to give feedback on folks' songwriting. At the very simplest, just tell why you like it or don't like it. And if you're feeling like a newb, just say, "Well, I'm kind of new at this, but..." and then just do your best to say what you think works and what might not. And the more you do it, and participate, the easier it gets! There are some guidelines in the sticky thread at the top of the SW forum thread listings ("Rules/Resources") but, really, it's pretty easy.

:)

 

PS... I've always figured a thumbs up/down poll (or even a rate-my-song-1-to-10 poll) is not very productive; to my way of thinking it doesn't really tell the writer anything about what works or what doesn't. It's the numeric equivalent of You rock dude, which means, on the internet, nothing. ;)

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PS... I've always figured a thumbs up/down poll (or even a rate-my-song-1-to-10 poll) is not very productive; to my way of thinking it doesn't really tell the writer anything about what works or what doesn't. It's the numeric equivalent of
You rock dude,
which means, on the internet,
nothing.
;)

you rock, or you suck, depending on the response... i figure if a song gets 100 views, and only 2 'listeners' chime in with any feedback, positive or negative, then 98 of the users may likely fall into the 'dislike it' or 'eh..' category...but i can only guess. the poll is an experiment... i'm trying to fish for some response...i hate the silent response of seeing the view count increase but no actual comments..do these people hate the song and figure they are being nice by not saying anything ? ultimately does it matter that they hate it because it makes them feel bad, or because the singing is off key, or does it just matter that they hate it ? not to me... i am wondering if people thinks it stinks... i don't care why really...if it stinks, it stinks...which equates to non acceptance of the material. perhaps the poll makes it simpler for lazy people to give some type of response, besides silence.

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you rock, or you suck, depending on the response... i figure if a song gets 100 views, and only 2 'listeners' chime in with any feedback, positive or negative, then 98 of the users may likely fall into the 'dislike it' or 'eh..' category...but i can only guess. the poll is an experiment... i'm trying to fish for some response...i hate the silent response of seeing the view count increase but no actual comments..do these people hate the song and figure they are being nice by not saying anything ? ultimately does it matter that they hate it because it makes them feel bad, or because the singing is off key, or does it just matter that they hate it ? not to me... i am wondering if people thinks it stinks... i don't care why really...if it stinks, it stinks...which equates to non acceptance of the material. perhaps the poll makes it simpler for lazy people to give some type of response, besides silence.

 

I guess my thinking is one can get a lot more helpful information by directly engaging with someone and sussing out the nature of their responses -- just as a thumbs up/thumbs/down/don't care response gives one more info than simply seeing statistically that one more person listened to a given song or -- more to the point -- started listening to a given song. (Let's be real, how many songs, just browsing around looking for new music, do you listen to all the way through? So I always figure that a sizable percentage of first-time listeners are going to stop listening someplace before the end. And while I'm perfectly comfortable citing the x number [or rather a conservative estimate] of streams/downloads I've had over the last decade plus, it's not like I think all those folks listened all the way through or, better yet, liked it. :) )

 

 

Anyhow, of course, here in the SW forum, we have a chance to ask our fellow songwriters for their thoughts and concerns about the song. That's potentially a very different thing than getting audience research. Because of the focus of one's fellow songwriters, such feedback may not be as good at testing/targeting a potential hit as it is at improving general songwriting skill and deepening one's insight into the craft.

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I have to agree it's a bit depressing but it's a cool song in it's own right'

 

:thu:

keep em comin

give an ear to someone else and let us know what you think

 

it takes awhile sometime to get what you're looking for

so make the trip worthwhile

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i'm not really trying to keep bumping this little thread back up for attention..but i have a mildly relevant comment to share, a coincidence i've observed on this forum over the last 24 hours.

 

the sudden outbreak of prison songs.... my little tune here was inspired by such things. this is the story of the birth of this particular song.. hope i'm not boring you with this.

 

the other day i was driving along just about halfway listening to the radio. the newsreporter was saying how a deathrow inmate was, right at that moment, on a gurney with the needles in him waiting for final word before they executed him. the words are loosely inspired by that image...

 

i looked later, this is the guy.

 

http://off2dr.com/modules/extcal/event.php?event=246

 

the song is not directly about the person, but i was curious so i googled the guy. he beat someone to death with a ballbat

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Nice tune. It is a little dark for me as well.

 

The prison song business sprang out of Okieslim's post looking for help. That was a prison tune. Coincidentally, two others were working on prison songs. Just seems like a bizarre coincidence. Even moreso when you fill us in about yours.

 

Count numbers don't necessarily mean people didn't like it. In my case, I have extremely limited time to actually listen to music posts that I have to get to them when I can. Days may pass before I can sit down at the computer at the house with some headphones. It's also likely that people are a little shy about responding to new posters because they don't know if you are just dropping in or are sticking around. It does require some effort to engge someone in a discussion about their stuff. The more you join in other conversations, the more response you'll get to your posts. Even if you are just chiming in with a question. I do that all the time as recording and music are my weak areas. I'm primarily a lyricist learning to write and play music, so I ask a lot of dumb questions about recording and playing. Don't be shy. If you hang aound for a while, you'll find this to be a very engaging group.

 

Welcome.

 

EG

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