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Songwriting Challenge 18 - Character Songs - The Reveal


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I didn't intend to lay a guilt trip on ya...sorry bout that...but you do have good review skills...2 d's it is...very deep indeed...thanks for your effort...really appreciate it.


DAMMIT! BUSTED! How do others get away with that whole '+1' thing??? OK you're right, you guys all put in a lot of work in on your songs, it's only fair that I critique each one and not cop someone else's (although I do mostly agree with ido....) It's just been such a BUSAY week....

OK then, you asked for it, here it comes....

Willows Weeping - tbryson

This song is structured highly around the chorus, which is fantastic. The line, 'People say, brown ain't white' is the major developing line here, and is the only reference via backstory (or foreshadowing, however you want to take it) for what is going on. It's the hinge-pin and you wouldn't have much song without it, which is fine. Generally, it's too repetitious though- you need to get a bridge or break in there somewhere. Excellent juxtaposition with the willows and the lovers, the trees become their saviors to an extent. (Is that deep enough
?) Good job tbryson.

And forbidden is spelled with 2 'd's'. (sorry, grammar cop on the premesis).

Toaster Too Short, Bread Too Tall - Stackabones

From what I know, you are generally a musical genius... to question why you basically used 2 chords throughout a whole song would likely end up with me looking like a fool (and I would probably agree entirely). Still, to the unwashed masses that I am a part of, it feels a little simple for what I would expect. Now to put expectations aside, I really enjoy this song. The lyrics are largely funny and erudite, even though I feel a few gaps, and a few clumsy lines. As was mentioned earler, a good sex metaphor would work with this

Give Me a Chance - tspit74

Really nice '80's vibe, great descriptive lyrics. Probably the best wordset this time around. Some of the best lyrical song structure I've heard in a while, and some fantastic lyrics in general. Overall though, the recording is not realized as well as it could be. It's weak in the mix and there's some disconnect and time issues among the tracks. Bring that crunchy guitar up, don't be afraid of the dynamics. I LOVE how the music supports the lyrics faithfully, but it's a bit anemic overall.

Taxi Cab Confessions - tspit74

Damn, this is the music I LIVED off of a long time ago. The first verse of this song feels like the impetus for it all. It's fantastic. I'm only comparing here, but it's a Michael McDonald/Starland Vocal Band late 70's vibe that is inescapable somehow. Structure is superb, instrumentalization is great. You are undeniably hitting a nerve in me that loved ABBA, M, and Steve Miller. There's something very New York about this that is so good it hurts. Great eff'ing job in this.

The Knowledge of Engines and Cars - rsadasiv

By far the most difficult to critique, musically and lyrically. It's almost too coy about what it means to say. I love your style and how graceful it can be, but this one feels like an unfinished cut. I typically expect a more lush layered effort, and this one feels undone, if only because of your previous works. Lyrically, you have the most fantastic imagery I've seen in a long time, but as much as I WANT to absorb it, I feel left out. It's a great song to listen to, but I feel mostly lost.

I stayed up FAR too late in order to contribute, I hope it helps. Great songs overall this time everyone.

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willows weeping: the song got me from the start, very engaging ... the guitar and voice sound very good ... crisp, clear mix. after the third "and the willow is weeping" bit i was really expecting the song to go somewhere else but the bridge didn't seem to go very far away from the basic melody. a very nice effort


toaster: clever lyrics ... nice rhymes ... catchy refrain ... i can see this song produced in such a way as to make it a cult classic


give me a chance: lovely, haunting intro (brief) ... i wasn't expecting what followed, which is nice ... better than i expected! love the Dylan-like staccato lyrics ... very engaging ... i was into the song right away ... echoes of Lou Reed (a good thing). lyrics just right on ... didn't seem to take a single wrong step ... love the singing ... perfect for this song ... i really like this. i thought maybe the chorus could use some punching up with more percussion or something ... but that's a small thing ... excellent effort

taxicab: the rhythm or melody didn't bring me into this song nearly as much as your previous one ... this may be a matter of taste, but i didn't get into this song too much, though i can certainly appreciate the quality of the voice, music, and mix ... certainly a very professional effort

knowledge of engine and cars: what an amazing title ... the beginning seemed a bit off, timing-wise ... once you start singing things fall into place ... again, you keep getting better with each song, vocals wise ... there were some timing issues later on as well, when you're not singing ... the melody didn't jump out at me ... what lyrics i caught seemed very strong, evocative

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