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New Song: Washington Streets


daveroe

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The approach to breaking lines is certainly an attention getter... each broken line hangs in the air, calling attention to where it breaks... it's powerful... but two-edged.

 

I found myself wondering if that would have troubled me less with a more relaxed approach to the song, vocally. This isn't the vocalism forum (thank heavens we have one, now! ;)) so I don't want to go too far down that road, but I found myself sort of resinging the song in my head with a more relaxed vocal... I guess for me the combination of the very urgent rock vocal approach and the playful but provocative line breaks sort of distracted me from the content of the song, which seems a shame, because reading it I get a nice, if none-too-specific portrait of a time and place.

 

All that said, I think the way the lines break is a real part of this song's DNA (as the cliche goes). And, for that matter, our colleague Dtrhraco liked the vocals. (Not that I disliked the vocals, but rather that I wasn't sure that they entirely worked for me in the context of what's really kind of a quiet little song.)

 

Anyhow, I think you've got a nice little song, my minor worries above notwithstanding. Good job.

 

:)

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I like it man. The sounds are nice and clear. Guitar sounds nice. I understand what blue2blue is saying about the vocal style...your pushing the vocals a bit...this gives more of a rock vibe...but the song is a bit more folky/mellow overall. The harmonies are very nice. You could take the song in a full-on rock direction pretty easily...as the songs builds, bring in a basic drum beat (nothing too much) and a gently overdriven electric guitar adding a part...bring in some bass, maybe even some keys. The song would lend itself nicely to that kind of build up, I think.

 

But it's a cool song man. I like it. Good job.

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Cool song. Blue's right, though. Don't try and sing so hard. Strainy voices don't work unless you're Neil Young or that dude from the Flaming Lips, Wayne Coyne.

 

I've had this problem too - trying to push the song out your gut and through your throat. I think it takes more confidence to not sing so hard, to just let your voice come out naturally. It's harder, though. Cause I know I don't feel like I'm singing unless I'm working hard.

 

But I like, dude. Nice!

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Good job, I can see what B2B is saying but IMHO it sounds natural as is. I hear a good vocalist doing a hellofa good job.

the harmonies are great, and truly fit the song and like speierg says it can go even further with a bit of a "band" presence

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I really appreciate the input guys. I did toss around the idea of doing the song in a more hushed or quite voice but I kept going back to the "rock" vocal. I could probably do it better, I think I was just tired of re-doing it at the time. From it's inception I knew that I wanted the folky guitar with the rockish vocal.

I do want to add some additional instrumentation though, right now I'm just way too lazy.

But thanks again for everyone's input, it really helps a lot and keeps me interested in doing something that I really love doing.

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nice one. i can tell it's from a personal place and authentic. also, best part of the song, in my opinion>>> And they beg for change for beer

As we wait for trains right here>>> it made the song more interesting and humanized it. like it.

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I think it's a good kind of modern folk song. I think the lyrics are very compelling. The music not as much - not a genre that I'm into very much - , but enjoyed it.

 

One thing I notice is that some of the harmonies are off. Timing between voice and guitar is sometimes off oh so slightly. Also look out for occasional pitch issues with your voice. You have a very appealing voice, however, and you are blessed with a good range.

 

You would want to work on nailing down timing, and harmonies, and pitch if you want to bring it from rough draft to finished product.

 

Sincerely: Great lyrics.

 

Beakybird

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