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Kind of a Self-Consciously "Dumb" Song


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Well...I think the guitar parts were lacking in originality honestly. They've got a familiar sound in a high school guitar class in the 90's way. The lyrics were kind of humorous and maybe ironic. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for (I'm hoping you were) but that's kind of what I got from it. I think this one's got a ways before it'll be getting you chicks. Keep writing and try to find a way to add to the tonality to make it more distinct.

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Thanks for listening. And yeah, the lyrics are "ironic" I suppose. More like "half-kidding" or kinda bittersweetly dumb. And in that form-following-function sort of way, the guitaring is intentionally '90s-by-numbers.

 

As for "getting chicks," the less said about that sort of dumb reason for doing something the better.

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Well if that was your intention keep doing your thing. I was kidding about the chicks part. I think most of them are going for the '{censored}' songs coming out of the Autotune genre at the moment. At least we still have our dignity.:)

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That's the problem with internet. It's hard to catch the intention if they aren't being entirely literal. And what's worse is you can't reprimand them for perpetuating idiocy. oohh. I think I filled my 5 syllable word quota just now. Score.

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I dig the way your voice sounds on this one. Reminds me of Dan Bejar, kind of. Even if you're not really serious about the lyrics, I think this was pretty good melody and vocal performance-wise...I liked it.

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The plug-in in the intro is really obnoxious. I really love the way you layer the guitar parts--whenever I do a two-guitar-overdub thing, I can't help but fall into rhythm vs. lead thinking, where as you just have 2+ parts that mesh together well.

 

The meter in the lyrics is really awful--I understand that this is supposed to be an ironic slacker piece, but ironic does not have to mean artless. There are places where you've crammed WAY too many syllables into too small a place, and it sounds awkward and takes me out of the song.

 

The melody is in the I'll-go-wherever-the-guitar-goes mode--guitar goes to a lower chord, voice starts on a lower note, guitar goes up, voice goes up--it sounds like you're making up the melody while you're playing. An interesting exercise might be to record the instrumental track, and then come up with a melody over the track, rather than writing the song while you're playing the guitar.

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I was really sad when Kurt Cobain committed suicide, and I get the impression that you were too although your ironic hipsterism makes you feel conflicted about those memories.

 

 

That's pretty much it. This is probably one of two very personal songs that I've written. It's also one of the glib-est -- the other personal song being kind of tongue-in-cheek as well. Its a song processing a memory in a way that you might expect Kurt's old pals in Olympia to handle his suicide if they were smartassed 16 year olds. It's not so much my current/adult appraisal (this song has been floating around my bag of tricks in some form for years) but rather an attempt to get at the ways in which I've not gotten over my 16 year old feelings. I have this huge, convoluted dead Kurt Cobain story that I tell and this is a way of getting the core of a it down in a useful-enough chunk.

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