Jump to content

Bent Minds, Bright Eyes (demo)


TravvyBear

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I wrote this song early this morning, after watching Trainspotting like 9 times this week. I've never really written a song that wasn't about something that happened in my life, so I figured I'd try to write a story about fictional characters, that may be inspired by events that have happened around me, or in movies or something.

 

www.soundclick.com/reverb728

 

This song is about 2 heroin addicted lovers.

 

Bent Minds, Bright Eyes:

 

I'm getting lost, in your scent

Your eyes are bright, and our minds are bent

I'll sign my name, in your epitaph

And my voice will crack, when I read you Plath

 

 

 

And I touched your bones, and you asked me why

as we talked for hours, sitting outside

I'll go to bed, with you in my head

In a bombed out field, of strawberries and lead

 

 

and you

I knew

and you

I do

 

We'll take the hits, to erase the dread

and we'll drink all the drinks, to clear our heads

I'll cook up our love, in the spoon

as you hum a long, to clair de lune

 

Chorus

bridge

 

 

I'll punch your chest, when your lips turn blue

And the moons so bright, I can't loose you

you'll gasp for air, you'll struggle and squirm

and you can't get enough, of this drugged up love

 

Chorus

Bridge

 

 

The song is suppose to be a bit louder, in a band setting, with some electric guitars. But, I was far to lazy to turn on my amp, and mess around with a whole bunch of stuff, the demo should give a pretty good outline I think.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I like it......and I know exactly why.


All of the stuff you put out here is performed and tracked with such sincerity that it is infectious.

:idea:

 

that's what I mean... sincerily infectious. yep that's it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Yeah, this is probably my favorite of yours. I think the reason is because you go out a little more on this one. Instead of whispering and getting to intimate with the mic, you kind of just rocked out more on this one. This didn't feel like one of your regular songs...it felt different. This song has a lot of character to it. Very nice job.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Something didn't sit right me on first listen, but I couldn't put my finger on it so I didn't comment. But listening back now, I know what it is...the way you end every line with a descending note gets very repetitious. If you varied the melody just slightly by ending every other line (or so) with an ascending note instead, I think it would really make a HUGE difference. I really liked the lyrics, you did a very nice job there. If my suggestion makes sense to you (and you like the idea) give it a try...I think a quick melody-refresh would really put this song over the top. Nice work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...