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capitalistic drop demo 1 and 2


vldtra

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pretty good track, I don't know if anyone from rap a lot will hear it here. Remember it is only a demo right now. and it is not a full all out track. I did notice about my flows is they get smoother and smoother the more I make them or evolve. I also heard from a few sources who say hip hop sucks and they will never listen to it now caught up with some people say I don't mind it.

 

anyways this track is pretty damn good considering these are my first ever hooks. Anyways listen to the ideas as they break apart and feel they're notes. I want to make the background music fully written on a piano.

 

[YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE]

 

 

 

both done on different mics but both condensed

[YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE]

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an important fact first off I mention different levels of god the eternal in this song. God is infinite and forgets about nothing literately. Just thought I would mention that before anyone reply's

Does God know you use such language? [That's a rhetorical question. No metaphysical/philosophical/ontological answer required.]

 

OK, I had to turn this down because my windows are open and there are kids around so I don't really appreciate having some guy talking about sexual and excretory functions. Next time post a Not Safe for Office/Family warning, OK?

 

 

Also, your recordings will sound a lot better if you don't shove that mic right up into your mouth -- notice those thudding sounds every time you hit a "P" -- those are called plosives and they come from a singer -- or in your case, talker -- with bad mic technique who is too close to the mic.

 

Anyhow, since there's apparently no music here and no apparent rhythmic structure or discernible form, I'm thinking this doesn't really come under the topic of songwriting, per se. I'm not sure how much benefit you're going to get from posting this here. I think it's pretty much beyond any sort of workshop critique I can think of.

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regarding the vocal delivery, there are a number of perfectly natural stutters where you're still trying to get your mouth to confidently speak the words, when i'm in the memorization stage of songcraft i often use a metronome to take 'keeping the beat' out of my mental process, freeing up a little room so i can play with vocal meter. there are tons of free software programs out there that might help.

 

the 'chop chop' segment strikes me out of place, especially in contrast to some of the other more overtly humbled-before-your-lord-and-savior lyrics, also the 'if i could rule the world i would part,' it just seems odd to me for a song that starts out decrying injustice in a universal sense to then prop the narrator up as a panacea, an empty panacea at that given that no solutions are offered, no vision of a something better, only cyclical damage.

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