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Check out my new tune (Nick Drake/Pink Floyd inspired)


Arkkitehti

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First a big, friendly cut-n-paste welcome to the Songwriting Forum!

 

The basic mission of the forum is the discussion of the art and craft of songwriting and offering assistance with feedback and constructive criticism on new songs and other works in progress. Of course, giving thoughtful comment requires some time and energy.

 

Like so much in life -- what you get out of it will likely depend on what you put in...

 

I hope you'll share your insight with others when they're looking for critiques -- it's a great way to let people get to know you. And the more that people know you as someone who is willing to help out, the more eager they'll be to help you when you're looking for some good ol' constructive crit.

 

:)

 

blue2blue

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Now on to your track...

 

Well, when it started with synths, I did a double take thinking about Nick Drake, but I can certainly hear echoes of Pink Floyd (pun not intended but acknowledged).

 

In fact, I found myself thinking -- on a parallel track -- that about the only thing this track really needs is something in the foreground -- and I immediately thought of those moody, gliss-filled slide parts by David Gilmour. Or some other up front, melodic statement.

 

This is really nice... I'm tempted to say, so far...

 

One small but nagging note: I think I'd rethink the treatment that creates those nasty finger drag sounds... they'd be OK if they were about 1/6th as loud and the hi frequencies on them weren't so jacked. I'm guessing your inclusion of them is intentional but, at least on my rig, they sound way too loud and rather unpleasant.

 

Now, with the understanding that adding foreground melodic instrument(s) would pretty well change this particular angle, I have to say that this feels pretty long, and looking at the player, I can see why. Ten minutes is a long time in pop music.

 

Anyay, some very nice work as far as it's gone.

 

 

Whoa!... just one more thing: there is a nasty, full volume digital glitch that lasts the better part of a second at the end of your file. Get that off there before any more people DL it... they'll thank you.

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I can hear the Floyd influences but didn't really make the connection to Nick Drake (awesome songwriter btw, love his laid back vibe).

 

I like the synths and guitar work, but would agree with the previous poster in recommending you 1) definitely cut down on the string noise as you transition b/w chords, 2) add some gilmore-esque slide work to create a foreground melody and 3) delete that nasty digital artifact in the last second of the recording. I'd also cut the song down to 5 minutes if possible.

 

Overall a nice composition though.

 

:)

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Thanks for the replies!

 

I removed the scraping sounds, squeezed the tune to 5 mins and got rid of the noise at the end of the file.

 

The slide guitar is a great suggestion. I couldn't come up with good enough results yet, but I'll look into it.

 

New link http://www.mediafire.com/?0tdn2j0qthe

 

About Nick Drake. You are right that the influence might not be very evident, but if you listen to Day Is Done and Three Hours, I think there is something similar.. Or maybe I've gotten my stuff from Mikael

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