Jump to content

Still tracking......lyrics only


LeonardScaper

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Music in a couple of days.

 

This thing with posting lyrics alone has turned out to be very helpful to me. While I am in the process of tracking the vocals, my main mic is down for repairs and I'm using a backup so I can these ideas tracked. Any direction that I can get on this storyline will be deeply appreciated. Your ideas and concepts have helped shape a number of my tunes and this song is not yet done.

 

Not for nothin' but it's four AM

And I'm here starin' out the window again

No smoke now

Has it ended

 

'Cause it's a battleground

Yeah it's a battleground

And who's in the middle

Not me

And not you.

 

instr.

 

The sun is rising and the sky is clear

But that red horizon has stoked my fear

For the ones in the middle

Who we both hold dear

 

And it sure is something 'bout how it begins

And the way spin it...makes me wonder

Just who we'll be

When the warfare ends

 

'Cause it's a battleground

Yeah it's a battleground

 

Not for nothin' but here I am

Just starin' down winter again

Yeah, I've done it

Is this how it ends

 

On this battleground

Yeah it's a battleground

It's a battleground

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Music in a couple of days.


This thing with posting lyrics alone has turned out to be very helpful to me. While I am in the process of tracking the vocals, my main mic is down for repairs and I'm using a backup so I can these ideas tracked. Any direction that I can get on this storyline will be deeply appreciated. Your ideas and concepts have helped shape a number of my tunes and this song is not yet done.


Not for nothin' but it's four AM...
good opening line..draws interest

And I'm here starin' out the window again

No smoke now

Has it ended...
not sure I like a question? Show me


'Cause it's a battleground

Yeah it's a battleground

And who's in the middle
..this question gets answered...thats good

Not me

And not you.


instr.


The sun is rising and the sky is clear

But that red horizon has stoked my fear

For the ones in the middle

Who we both hold dear


And it sure is something 'bout how it begins

And the way spin it...makes me wonder

Just who we'll be

When the warfare ends


'Cause it's a battleground

Yeah it's a battleground


Not for nothin' but here I am...
these 1st 2 lines are real good

Just starin' down winter again

Yeah, I've done it

Is this how it ends...
again a question...I guess thats ok but I would rather be shown or answered


On this battleground

Yeah it's a battleground

It's a battleground

 

 

These are just my observations so use them if you like or disregard. These things are always subjective.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Clarify.......as in.....keep that image of a field of battle but leave the listener certain that the issue at hand is more personal.

 

Ah, but how to do that while keeping to that economy of phrasing that I'm striving for in this number.

 

.......more pondering.........and thanks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Not for nothin' but it's four AM

And I'm here starin' out the window again

No smoke now

Has it ended...just flip the order of this line

It has ended

 

And it sure is something 'bout how it begins..."bout how things begin

And the way they spin it...makes me wonder

Just who we'll be

When the warfare ends

 

Not for nothin' but here I am...but its four AM

Just starin' down winter again

Yeah, I've done it

Is this how it ends....flip the order...This is how it ends

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Good stuff........

 

I went back and forth on repeating 4 AM. I think I will. I also like 'how things begin'.......it just flows better.:thu:

 

Here's the thing.......this story line is a relationship breakup where the kids are being used by one or both of the parents, possibly on an unconscious level, to enhance their position somehow.

 

It is only somewhat personal as I have been through similar scenarios. Going through another breakup right now but the kids are less of a factor.....hence the seed for this tune.

 

I think I need to bring out the one on one relationship aspect relative to the battlefield. I also feel as though it hasn't ended and I'd like it if the listener is invited to opine on how it should end.

 

I'll post up the music as it has progressed so far.......soon.

 

Stay with me on this one.........:wave:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

i think the ambiguity of the tune is part of it's strength, it's narrated from a windowsill late at night when there are no answers, only questions, and i think it conveys that certain... not desperation... but wrended-heartedness of living with consequence. i like it a lot.

 

 

I agree and like the openness of the lyric. I instantly relate to it. We all have more questions than answers and that may be your lyric for another verse. If you get to specific, you`ll pigeon hole your audience.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I dunno, maybe because I've been there but I read thru the lines. It's very understandable as is IMO. Perhaps a few changes as suggested above on line (word) placement but I like it, as usual, man, ya got some good stuff here. can't wait for the music. :thu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

maybe because I've been there but I read thru the lines.

 

That is what I really strive for......that subtle misdirection that gets the listener thinking about something I may have been alluding to that he/she knows about all too well. Of course that means that I'm walking a fine line between allusion and confusion.;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Of course that means that I'm walking a fine line between allusion and confusion.
;)

 

My first reading took me back to last summer's fires in western North America. I visualized someone looking out at dawn over the smouldering remains of their home, and preparing for another day battling the flames. I didn't realize that it was about a relationship battle until you explained it. Perhaps if I had read more closely (insert embarrassed icon).

 

At any rate, I appreciate your striving for brevity, and I realize that it's often difficult to convey ideas in concise metered lines.

 

Looking forward to your recording!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

My first reading took me back to last summer's fires in western North America. I visualized someone looking out at dawn over the smouldering remains of their home, and preparing for another day battling the flames. I didn't realize that it was about a relationship battle until you explained it.

 

 

Hmmm........if I could craft an image that could be interpreted by each listener in their own fashion while holding true to the image that I had at inception........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thanks, Lee. I can only hope that you feel the same after you hear it.

 

Those of you who record and mix your own stuff will know how I feel when i say that this mix hit me as the right mix.

 

And.....as songwriters you may appreciate how this tune was born. With my main mic down for repair I had decided to try to put off tracking anything new. Instead I took my old Stella down to the cavernous basement of this house to see how she would sound with all of that cement. I hooked all of my cables together, brought down my KSM32, and simple played. No click track...nothing.

 

When I played it back in the studio this song began to take shape.

 

Battleground

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hey Leonard,

 

I really like the mix and production ideas you "slapped together". LOL

 

I don`t have much to add to your song, I like the abstract tone to it.

 

I would bring up the vocals on the bridge a bit and add some reverb to that guitar on the left. Pan the piano hard right with some `verb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

And.....as songwriters you may appreciate how this tune was born. With my main mic down for repair I had decided to try to put off tracking anything new. Instead I took my old Stella down to the cavernous basement of this house to see how she would sound with all of that cement. I hooked all of my cables together, brought down my KSM32, and simple played. No click track...nothing.

 

Good story. There's no telling when the muse will strike. Good that you captured it and developed it.:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

You know Leonard... I don't think I've heard anyone do what you do. Your voice, your sense of using space. Or rather, just stopping, you still hear the implied time ticking, but you stop, then resume. The way you use your lead, the way you play your single note acoustic lines... they all just combine into this thing that is you.

 

Your lyric sense...

 

I really like what you've done with Battleground. If there is any suggestion at all, it would be to look for ways to punch up what you already have. To find the stand out motifs and reinforce them. And not by any grandiose means certainly, even just having some parts double and reinforce each other.

'Cause it's a battle ground, and the guitar playing the same thing instead of a counter rhythm. But then again, that might be what makes it not you any more. I really dig your stuff and this one is hitting for me big time.

 

I'd love to hear you with an upright piano player, an upright bass, a sensitive drummer playing a small kit and you on acoustic and singing live. Then you track your electric stuff on another pass. And take it from there.

 

Let me produce!!! I love your stuff.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I'd love to hear you with an upright piano player, an upright bass, a sensitive drummer playing a small kit and you on acoustic and singing live. Then you track your electric stuff on another pass. And take it from there.

 

Yeah, that is just the sort of combo I envision....except not sure about the upright bass. We may want someone who can handle a five or six string rig to let that bass step up out of the cellar sometimes.

 

Tell you what....let's do it! We'll make a real record and make us some real money instead of just foolin' around like this. Of course we'll probably have to take it on the road......can you handle the electric guitar chores as well?;)

 

Ah yes....were we just a bit younger.:wave:

 

Thanks, Lee.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

your voice, brother, man-o-man your voice.

that's some great sound to wake up to this morning.

another win for the Master-Of-MathFolk.

 

edit-

just gave it some time and then a second listen, that first line is like a fishing hook, and it makes me wonder about "pop" music, this is just blatantly sympathetic music, i mean, who would listen to this and not feel a bit of a tug? how does that happen? did you think at some point when writing it that you were going through something others might relate to? i mean, was the experience of the emotion one of the universe? or perhaps the opposite? did you feel even more isolated and had to shatter it with a song?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

You should be working some smoky lounge with a small ensemble with leggy women milling around while the local hipsters filter in an out while making their deals as the music is wafting through the joint at 2 AM.

 

Lenny and the Scapers are in town tonight babe!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...