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New Song--No Regrets


Nearthemusic

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Hey guys, thanks so much for all the feedback on my last thread! Here's another song we're working on rerecording. This one is pretty different then the last, let me know what you think:)

 

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1024325&songID=8602289

 

The new version we're recording will be pretty similar to this one but we're going to add a little percussion. Here are the lyrics:

 

No Regrets

 

Have you ever felt like a leaf sittin' on the ground

Just waiting for the wind to blow?

You are warmed by the sun, you are wet from the rain,

You are buried by the thick white snow.

And the whole world is watchin' while you watch your stop sign,

And everyone else is on go.

You let the people that surround you dig a hole where they found you,

And bury the good in your soul.

 

And no regrets tonight,

It's time that we take flight.

 

I've got a deadly disease, and it comes down to me,

In fact I mean what I say very literally:

I'm self-centered, self-focused, selfish, and self-conscious

Bout the way you percieve me on the every daily basis.

Till the self that's inside me commits suicide,

And the lies that confine me have truth realized.

I'll leave the hole in my soul empty for you.

I'll leave the hole in my sould empty for you--

 

And no regrets tonight,

It's time that we take flight

 

I'm exhausted now;

So much holding me down around my knees.

Would you come and carry me home?

Would you come and carry me home?

 

No regrets tonight,

It's time that we take flight

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Well... this is a little bit all over the map, lyrically. I'm not sure that's necessarily a bad thing.

 

But it's like you're trying out metaphors, a little. A leaf, sitting at a stop sign, being buried, a disease, and the part about being held down around the knees and carried home. And then, 'time that we take flight' -- a return to the leaf, ready to be blown away in the wind... or...? The only part that really stops me in my tracks, maybe is the part about being 'held down around the knees' -- all I can think of is an American football tackle (although I just found out that tackling the knees is now a foul -- they just keep changing that stuff :D ) -- and carried home. That part, particularly because it's featured by the music build up, seems a bit problematic. It's a pair of images that just isn't quite adding up for me.

 

It sounds really neat, and there is, between the words you have now and the music you have now, a nicely evocative coherency of mood. But I couldn't help but feel like a little more attention to fitting the lyrical parts together would make it a much stronger song. Don't lose the mood and feel, though, that's working.

 

;)

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