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Cretique my song "I'm So Glad You Knew"


BenDuncan

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Hey, I posted this song a wile ago (back then it was called "Wish You Knew") and some of you said I needed to work on my lyrics. I've read some books and stuff so i think there better. I've also made changes to the music. anyway tell me what you think! thanks!

 

www.myspace.com/benduncan

 

Verse:

When I met you

I felt this desire to get you

But I didn

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Hi, Ben!

 

This has a pretty coherent sound, the lyrics sound good as they're sliding past. The subject matter is pretty classic young love stuff and I think the music keeps things moving along at a fast enough clip that no one's going to be looking for anything too deep here. Within that context, I think it all fits together pretty well and, as a song, ought to find some friends within fans of this type of music.

 

 

Don't be afraid to get out into the forum and offer feedback on other folks' music. That's the way to get to know people here. And on a busy day when folks may have to choose only one or two songs to listen to and give constructive crit on, it can help if folks know you're someone who contributes when they have to decide between listening to your tune or someone else's.

 

 

:)

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I like the way it resolves at the end. And I can empathize about it being "so hard". I actually had one that lasted almost 4 hours once? Was "this close" to calling the hospital.

 

I really like the tune, and your guitar work, and for the most part the lyrics, well done. The mix? Not so much :-(

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Song works very nicely. The lyrics are a little too simple in places. It's like you took the easy, trite, simple, first-rhymes-in-your-head approach. Opening lines should be special. You want to grab the listener's attention. I'd like to see you try to tell this familiar story in a "fresh new way."

 

But it's pretty well put together, sounds good, and it's "catchy."

 

(Feel free to ignore whatever I say).

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Thanks guys. I dont know anything about mixing lol when i record it for real im going to have someone else mix it. As for critiquing other people i'm not much of a talker or socialite but i'll start posting everynow and then now
:)

Well, you can warm up by just hanging out and discussing craft in general in the craft-technique oriented threads.

 

But on the critique/feedback thing, really, any sincere comments can help out.

 

We do like to try to soften the blow when the news is mostly bad :D -- but there's usually something one can be positive/complimentary on. And we do try to keep in mind that an artist isn't 'competing' with other artists -- only trying to improve himself. We're all at different places on the road. And, of course, there are just days when you're in a mood when it's best not to comment... :D (Some of us creative types can get a wee bit dark and stormy at times. ;) )

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Thanks guys. Marshal, wich lines are you talking about as far as being simple?

 

 

"Met you; get you" was kind of a turn-off for me. I like opening lines that have a freshness or an image that says there's something special ahead. It's an art form to catch the listener's attention while setting up and moving a story along.

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