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Ripcord......song structure issue


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This is not a new tune. I started playing it around three divorces ago, which puts it back around 1985.

 

I have been banging away at this one for all these years with pretty much the same lyrics.......but this is the first time I have written them down and tracked the tune.

 

It is a very straightforward song.....four verses with an instrumental in the middle. Even at close to 4:00 it comes and goes pretty quickly.

 

The thing is....I tracked this one for fun, but I kind of like it. I know I need to redo the acoustic guit (a few clicks and pops) so I'm wondering if I should expand the structure in the proccess.

 

Oh.....and then there would be the issue of the drums......:facepalm:

 

It goes something like this:

 

Ripcord

 

You said no but I wasn't listening

Guess I musta thought you were talking to your dog

But when you asked me to go with those eyes all glistening

It was time to reach for the ripcord

 

You looked at me like I was meat on the table

Yeah, you were gonna throw me to the dogs

I headed for the window just as soon as I was able

I crashed right through and reached for the ripcord

 

instrumental

 

I told you the reason but you heard the excuse

Guess you musta thought I was talking to your dog

I tried hard to please you...it was just no use

It was time to reach for the ripcord

 

Well I've been working all day and trying all night

But it looks to me like I'll be sleeping with the dogs

Looking at your face and deep in your eyes...I know you're right

And I gotta reack for the ripcord

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seems good. nice tune! :)

 

hmm.. if i have any suggestions..

 

i think the middle instrumental is a tad bit long

and maybe you can add in the word 'ripcord' a few times during the ending instrumental. and maybe just sing the word 'ripcord' an extra time after the 2nd verse. it might make the title more effective, i think.

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This sounds like something Phish would have some real fun with.

 

I like the echo-opening line. Unlike "Listen", this one has a comfortably sloppy way about it, the instrument blend is superb.

 

If it were me, I would go the opposite way and make the interlude longer - much longer - and take this thing to some interesting places. You could even build to a near cresendo and then have the music stop and yell "RIPCORD!" or something like that. Over the course of the interlude give the piano some space to take the lead for a little while.

 

Then you come back to the verse and the audience is like, "man, we're still listening to that song?" :lol:

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Bridge.. I want a bridge!

 

It wouldn't have to be long or anything, it's just boring my mind to stay in the same musical space so long.

 

Also, maybe you could use some kind of interesting chord to play just after you say "ripcord". Perhaps too silly, but you do have dog barks in it. It strikes me that a guitar could make a sound that we could associate with the word "ripcord". What would a rip chord be?

 

Well, that's all I got. The production and performances are very good.

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Yeah!!!!

 

I love this. Leo 'tude! Funny, tragic, all those things we understand. Great.

 

I have an idea for your "drum" issue. You should get a kick ass, local coffee house percussionist to come over and jam. And to track on this and others. A cajon and congas and such would go a long way to getting an ensemble feel in your stuff.

 

This is really great. I have no suggestions. More of this!

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If you were a girl, I'd say it sounds like Joni Mitchell, especially "Court and Spark" album. :) My favorite of the time.

 

But you're not -- a girl, that is. So, I'll have to think of someone else.

 

I agree with Os. Really good interlude. Maybe listen to "Free Man in Paris" for drum ideas, but Lee's conga idea is not bad at all.

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'Free Man In Paris' happens to be one of my favorite songs.

 

And I love Lee's idea for getting a hot coffee house perc guy. problem is....I'm stuck here in New Joisey where we don't have many coffee houses. We have lots of crack houses here in the Trenton area....and a number of Halfway Houses.

 

:cool::wave:

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