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Almost Religous


Lee Knight

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The implied tempo had me singing a "Morris Dance" tune to those beautifully-balanced words of yours, Lee. At the least, it's (I think) a moving poem. We can relate to the protagonist (we all know someone like that). But you've captured that poor soul's dilemma in so few words: nice 'economy-of-style' (something I'm seldom accused-of). Good luck in finding a "good strong melody" (you know how I feel about THOSE!)

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I think it's a throw away. It was inspired by a friend's whining... I just jotted it down and looked at it later. It's weak.


Almost weak?

 

 

I disagree, there is something there. You just need to insert a hook in there to be the focus of the song and add some spacing between all the almost's.

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this could turn into a neat comparison of people who get by using religion and those that take lithium. In the picture you've painted there seem to be alot of similarities

 

EDIT: maybe like a not so comfortably numb

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IMO the last line is too narcissistic for this lyric. Or maybe that's the angle? So maybe "... but nobody
needs
me but me."
:idk:

 

That is very helpful seeing it in that form. And I do agree about that last line. I wanted the singer/protagonist to be stubborn. Unwilling to accept religion because he needs to do it on his own. Yet he's stuck and in a quandary. He needs help but is stubborn.

 

And I still don't like the last line... :)

 

Frankly, I get my point then I get lost on it too. That doest bode well...

 

It means, I need help but won't accept it.

 

And sometimes won't even try to fix on my own. I'll just complain. It doesn't really say that and yet it kind of does.:confused:

 

It came from a guy I know who is stuck, complains, can't see the obvious fixes, won't listen to reason and accept help. One day he said, "I'm almost religious". I thought, WTF? How can you be almost religious. At least I'm honest. I'm not religious. But he's almost? There was something infuriating about his fence dance.

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Is there anything here?


I almost pray, hands clenched in fists


At times like this I can almost cry

 

For me, these are the best lines.

 

Perhaps what you've written will never blossom into a complete song. But keep the lines around, (especially my faves ;) ); they might fit into another project.

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