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It's always about a girl......right?


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Well.....not always.;)

 

This one's about change. And I'm trying out something a little different as an intro. I need someone to talk some sense into me.:cool:

 

Always About A Girl EDIT: Link is to most recent mix:wave:

 

I am leaving this town for another

I'm going out into the world

'Cause I do believe

I've found a real good reason

 

Another page

Has turned

In another day

I'll be walking in the sun

There's no way

I've learned

'Cause it's not about me

 

Another bridge

Has burned

It's all the rage

About another sequel

Maybe it feels like freedom

But it's always about a girl

 

I am leaving this town for another

 

Real change

Comes hard

'Cause it's real easy

To get caught up in the curl

But you can't stay

When your heart....says it's time to go

 

Steel chains

And glass shards

Couldn't keep me

from being with my girl

I'd say

A new start....is the way to go

 

I am leaving this town for another

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Immediate reaction on first listen, I don't like the intro. The harmonizing is too present, too fake, just too there, if you know what I mean. Should be subtler.

 

I do like you have the harmonized vocals layered in behind another vocal line later in the song, that worked. I can see you if do the same thing in the intro, make the harmonized vocals more there like a ghost, behind a slightly different vocal line which may work better.

 

I'll give it another couple listens tonight, and give it a much more thorough breakdown later.

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I'm kind of with Dingoist on the intro... it's just too in one's face. And, however the harmony was achieved, it did make me think it was artificial -- which might be fine in an R&B track but seems a little out of place here.

 

[EDIT: that was apparently the first version; I just listened again when I saw your post and it appears to be different, a little tighter or better manicured. It's still a little in-yo-face but it's a lot better.]

 

I like the song, overall; it's a bit disjointed, a little vague -- but then that's kind of what it's all about, innit? So that works for me. The long scale rhyme works for you again here, bringing a nice bite to steel chains and glass shards and tying it back to real change.

 

 

Another bridge

Has burned

It's all the rage

About another sequel

Maybe it feels like freedom

But it's always about a girl

I like that about it being all the rage which ties the burned bridge back to the turned page.

 

So, really, my only big qualm is just the treatment of the intro...

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Well. . . I would love to be the "girl" that a guy steps out in the world for.

 

The gospel sound of the intro is different, and rather than try to make it less "in yo face," you could set it apart by a breath before the guitar steps in over silence. That would emphasize the "good reason." And also make the intro right unto itself . . . and very cool.

 

But I definitely like the story. :)

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I'm kind of with Dingoist on the intro... it's just too in one's face. And, however the harmony was achieved, it did make me think it was artificial -- which might be fine in an R&B track but seems a little out of place here.

 

Funny thing about those harmonies.....that's the first time in a long while that I actually sang harmonies like that and did not go through my trusty TC Vocal Quintet. It's not like me to sing something artificially tight.:cool:

 

I think Dingoist got it right about making them a bit more distant like they are a bit later on. Think I'll take a shot tonight at bringing them in slowly from that distance and then taking a Snow Angel breath.;)

 

Hey, Angel......I'm sure you are that girl. If not now, then surely somewhere on your horizon.

 

Thanks, Robby..........

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The harmonies are distracting at the beginning. Not a bad thing to do. But as an intro that needs to be different singers in a very tight, engaging, and distinctive way. You want to draw the listener in, not make him get distracted.

 

The song is cool. Seemed long. Could have ended after the instrumental without a full chorus. Just maybe a final, "It's always about a girl." The final "right" doesn't work. That's a wishy-washy phrase, where a speaker is asking his listener for some reinforcement. It was OK in the body of the song, because it indicates that the speaker is not so sure of himself. But as a concluding statement just state the premise and leave the silver bullet on the table.

 

Lyrically there are many juicing images and angles in there. But it left me confused about what is actually going on. I have no clue why the protagonist is leaving. Is he leaving the girl, or following after her, or what? There's enough there to make me want to know. But no way to discern it from what I read or hear.

 

Musically it works very nicely. Plenty of appropriate emotion and musical interest.

 

Maybe that first harmony intro needs to be only 2 distinct well matched voices. Then the other voice can pop in and out doing the retorts and other harmonies in a nice weaving of two voices.

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No!! The intro is bitchin- so is the complete work. Don't touch that intro.

 

The only thing I'd do is throw that whisper thing in there some more... that's the {censored}, dude. The only cure to my fever: More WHISPERING...

 

"it's always about a girl.."

 

But seriuosly, I love this! You're a real original! It's really interesting to listen to and you have a singular voice - I had no idea where it was going to go next. I can't say enough.

 

On a second listen... The only serious critique is I'm not sure you need to go all the way to nearly 4 minutes the way it is- at 3:20 would have been nice exit... especially given how you start winding it down at around 2:55 - that last 40 seconds or or so seems like it should just do something more to justify carrying on after that , especially with all those cool corners you kept turning earlier in the work... I was expecting it to go somewhere else and then the road just kinda flattens out the end as you get back to where you started..

I don't know...

 

But what the hell - you really don't need to change a thing. This is a cool song. I love what you've done!

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Thanks so much for the kind words but particularly for the detailed critiques.

 

This song first came to me with that intro sounding like that in my head....so I have kept it mostly intact. A little EQ automation and some extra verb........

 

When I sat down in the studio last night after a long day I took out everything after the instrumental and then played a little piano thing to end things......added a little bass. That observation........concerning length and focus was most astute!

 

Thanks to His Blueness for allowing these production discussions. This, to me, is an integral part of the writing process.

 

Took down the original link and replaced it with this one.......

 

Always About A Girl

 

Thanks to all.....I love this place.:cool::wave:

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all your stuff is interesting (listen to that ... sounds like i'm bitching), and this is no exception

 

the complex instrumentation blows me away

 

the whole thing works. don't change the intro [edit: oh, ok... you had already changed the intro]

 

i am with blue that the song feel a bit disjointed ... but i'm not sure it doesn't work here ...

 

i love the ending

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Very juicy instrumentally. So many parts working so well together. How do you think like that? :eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Yeah. I like the new one better. The intro harmony is cleaner. (Though I'd still be interested in 2-part harmony with another voice). The instrumental just cooks and leaves me appropriately melancholy. *sigh*

 

"Really"

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Very juicy instrumentally. So many parts working so well together.
How do you think like that?
:eek:
:eek:
:eek:

 

Have to be honest and say........I don't.:facepalm:

 

That instrumental just came together that way. I sat down and got rid of the last vocal part as per the excellent suggestion and when I plugged in the piano to find something to finish with, those chords are what came out.

 

Sounded good but the bass needed to be extended so I plugged in the EB3 and that's what happened.

 

Wish I could take more credit but I really do not know most of the chords and notes I am playing.

 

Really.;):wave::cool:

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i am with blue that the song feel a bit disjointed ... but i'm not sure it doesn't work here ...

 

You know.......I have been pondering that aspect of my stuff ever since you brought it up.....

 

I have always played footloose with a steady rhythm, probably because I haven't played regularly with a drummer much in recent years. I start everything with a click but at times I find that all that does is give me someplace to come back to when I'm done with my wandering.

 

I suppose I'll just have to chalk this up as a 'style' thing.:facepalm:

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