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Simple Song, Made Complicated


Todzilla

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Man... that's a big sound!

 

The neo-prog intro set me up for a bit of a surprise as it went into the more pop-rock part. The indie-rockish vocal (by that I mean not overly mannered or seeming to strive for a classic prog vocal approach) is a nice counter balance to that fairly busy but overall well crafted prog-pop feel.

 

It covers a lot of stylistic ground, to be sure, but it seems to stride that ground with a real sense of ownership!

 

I don't weigh in on lyrics unless they're posted, as a rule, but I figure they're pretty much along the lines of the hook/title line and that seems to make sense and fit nicely.

 

Quite a package, I must say! :)

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Thanks, Blue!

 

Here are the werdz:

 

I know what's wrong.

I fall in love too easily

And what's more

I realize too late

 

I know what's right

but only in terms of history

It's all a mystery

until it's said and done

 

Another clue...

I'm attracted to complexity

It's a magnetic rhapsody

which I cannot resist

 

The warning signs

they creep up on me slowly

and then holy moley

they stick like crazy glue

 

Yeah, I'm looking for love

instead of letting it find me

Please don't remind me

the things I've done for love

 

Yeah, I'm looking for love

with no sense of direction

No self-protection

so my heart is easy prey

 

Without a pause,

the brain begins to whisper

but it's quickly overshadowed

by the screaming of the heart

 

And just like that

I'm swept into the whirlpool

and feeling like a sure fool

I'm swept right down the drain

 

Oh why, here comes that funny feeling

My heart is so revealing

as the crowds peer through the open ceiling

Oh why, here comes that crazy notion

I drink deep from cupid's potion

like a straw in the middle of the 'Lantic Ocean

 

Lookin' for Love, etc, etc, etc...

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The lyrics are nicely crafted and pretty disciplined right down to the last verse where they seem to finally get swept away...

 

I have to say that the crowds looking through the transparent ceiling into the protagonist's heart sort of stopped me in my tracks... a pretty heavily over-loaded construction. The next couple lines are equally over the top but don't require the mental gymnastics to make sense of... and I kind of liked them.

 

But otherwise, I thought the lyrics had admirable efficiency and discipline. (That might not sound like lavish praise but it's pretty high in my book. ;) )

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The opening threw me off, I was ready to dismiss it with the dominant arpegiation near the beginning. Then I left the room to put on a pot of tea, and the change-over about about the 1:00 mark caught me.

 

I like it. I've listened to it 3 times now in the past 2 hours, and it continues to grow on me. This is intended as a compliment, I can really see this in a movie soundtrack. It seems to resonate with action, that can also be described visually.

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The lyrics are strong throughout, even the chorus. But there's just a little something missing in the chorus.

 

Yeah, I'm looking for love

instead of letting it find me

Please don't remind me

the things I've done for love

So far, so good. The middle two lines rhyme and the first and last have a repetition that's as good as a rhyme. It feels settled.

 

Yeah, I'm looking for love

with no sense of direction

No self-protection

so my heart is easy prey

Here you have the rhyme in the middle again. Great. But the first and last don't rhyme. The last line is a good one. I'd look at the possibility of finding a way of making the first line rhyme with the last. I think it would give the chorus a lot more punch.

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As my twenty-something daughter would say, "I'm picking up what you're putting down."

 

I struggled through that very dilemma, but felt loathe to go with the standard paltry "love" rhymes. Ultimately, I rationalized the closing rhymelessness by thinking it's a transition into the verse and/or bridge.

 

Acceptable?

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As my twenty-something daughter would say, "I'm picking up what you're putting down."


I struggled through that very dilemma, but felt loathe to go with the standard paltry
"love" rhymes
. Ultimately, I rationalized the closing rhymelessness by thinking it's a transition into the verse and/or bridge.

Given the choice between "rhymes with love" and rhymelessness, you've gone the right way. There isn't much to work with, when it comes to rhyming with love.

 

But I don't believe you should think of "Yeah, I'm looking for love" as a mandatory opening for the second section of the chorus. There are a {censored}-ton of words that rhyme with "prey". If you write a line to open the second half that blends nicely with the thought in the second and third lines and sets up the rhyme for the end, the chorus will bang hard.

 

I think it's worth the time to explore. If you do and it pans out, the payoff is big. If there's no gold to be found, stick with what you have. It's strong enough.

 

:)

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I found the lyrics hilarious going into the first chorus! The singing sounds a bit bland in the beginning, I think if you go for more of a punk-rock feel and make it heavier, and sing heavier, it may work better.

 

Reminds me of Dream Theater and Harvey Danger!

 

-Jeff

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