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1st verse of another song - Ich Habe Zwei Katzen


grace_slick

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Alright, what's up with this? 24 listeners and no comments?

Detailed possibilities here: Link

 

Short answer: Start thinking in terms of quid pro quo. The surest way to get critiques on your own work is to give critiques to others. Then they return the favour. You can leave a link after your comments on their work.

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Wow.......missed this one, grace. I need to get out of the studio more often.

 

This tune has serious potential to be a mainstream success (well, this stream, at least), even if it is about a cat.;) When you get serious like that it really sounds wonderful.

 

But, grace.......listen to your Uncle Lenny. You must finish this one! If you leave this song hanging I promise you that I will have Robby come to your house and key your car.

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I like your voice. I wasn't excited by the lyric on the page but it was good when you were singing. A more natural piano sound would be nice, all the viola/reverb stuff is distracting. Add some more variation on the piano part in the verse and a big redemptive chorus and you are there.

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lol, YAY, feedback!!

 

Yeah, I have a bit of a hard time getting a natural piano sound as I don't HAVE a piano. I use my MIDI keyboard through my Ableton recording software.

 

And yeah, the lyrics. Again, I came up with them on the spur of the moment. I do think they sound better sung / heard as opposed to read. On the page they appear somewhat bland...and they've been done 50 billion times before. So I guess the mood of the song (instrumental and vocals) give them something HOPEFULLY a bit different.

 

And oh dear, the strings remind you of death, Robby?? I wasn't intending that! lol. But maybe my thoughts came through when I was composing it, eh?

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But, grace.......listen to your Uncle Lenny. You must finish this one! If you leave this song hanging I promise you that I will have Robby come to your house and key your car.

 

 

 

HAHAHA! Ok, I promise I'll keep going with this one. It's in my heart, the subject matter, and so I have to finish it. I can't abandon it.

 

PS. I don't have a car! Robby will have to key somethin else! HAR HAR! LOL

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Ok, you really got me with this one, I love female voices accompanied by piano (in fact, ~every 8th title I've listened to in the past 6 years was by Tori Amos :) ). First of all, I'm german, and I'd suggest to chance the title to "Ich hab zwei Katzen", you're versions right, but no one use it that way and it really sounds like german "by the books".

About the song: Since you wrote this is only the first verse, I expect that there are more vocals coming for the latter 2 minutes recorded. It's hard to anticipate where you set in with second verse or chorus, but just the chords alone don't work that well in my opinion. So if you're planning to keep those, I would think about playing a little melody accompanying these chords.

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No, I've got 2 cats. They're 2 year old adopted brothers, heheh.

 

This song is about my childhood / teenagehood cat.

 

Oh good, glad the oohs at the beginning are haunting. That's how I feel about 'em too. A to F is what I do, is it? I have no idea. When you say A to B, do you mean just go down slightly to B? I assume you don't mean go down PAST the F to the lower B, right? (I'm a little slow. lol)

 

Glad you didn't find the lyrics too depressing!!

 

Less vibrato? In the voice you mean? Alrighty! I'll give it a whirl.

 

Oh, and this one was actually recorded (the instrumental only) about...6-9 months ago! lol So my piano playing has been non-existent lately!

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No, I've got 2 cats. They're 2 year old adopted brothers, heheh.


This song is about my childhood / teenagehood cat.


Oh good, glad the oohs at the beginning are haunting. That's how I feel about 'em too. A to F is what I do, is it? I have no idea. When you say A to B, do you mean just go down slightly to B? I assume you don't mean go down PAST the F to the lower B, right? (I'm a little slow. lol)


Glad you didn't find the lyrics too depressing!!


Less vibrato? In the voice you mean? Alrighty! I'll give it a whirl.


Oh, and this one was actually recorded (the instrumental only) about...6-9 months ago! lol So my piano playing has been non-existent lately!

 

 

 

Yeah, the first ooooooh you sing is an A, then it drops down

to an F, I was thinking for the second time when you repeat

those notes to try going from A to the B (that's right next to it)

so you actually ascend instead of descend.

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