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Homesick Blues


VoloVersio

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First I feel I should apologize as it's not actually a blues song. This is just a little sketch I put together a little while ago on with my little M-Audio FastTrack Pro. Very rough cut of it.

 

I only have the lyrics for the chorus written. In the song I'm just making up the verse lyrics (very stupid lyrics, i know) off the top of my head.

 

but the chorus lyrics are:

 

Nostalgia prides us in repose

As we cast the future off in obsoletist woe with those...

Homesick Blues

 

Lemme know what you think. Thanks.

 

http://soundcloud.com/nicholas-bromley/homesickblues-1

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Love the guitar...LOVE it.

 

I'll ignore the lyrics in the verse cause you say they're not gonna be used, etc. I like the melody...the voice is good...

 

I find the feel I got before the vocals came in was better...but that's just me. I'm a weirdo. lol

 

I really like it...

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Musically it's quite nice. Very engaging. Lyrically it's missing the mark, in my book. It's surprising to me, but I really like the "Nostalgia prides us in repose" line. I don't know what it means. But somehow I want to discover what it means, because it catches me. (a hook ?) The rest of the lyrics aren't intelligable on the first listen, but I get the impression something is going on that matches the energy of the music. The one line that leaves me flat is; "Homesick blues." When I hear that, I go; where'd that come from? It seems all of a sudden, simple, and out of character with the complex nature of the rest of the lyric. That sits in a position where the music wants a concluding catchy phrase. But it's a catch 22. It's an important musical moment, but the music wants you to fill it with a phrase that sums up the lyrical story; creates an "AHA!" moment. Otherwise it can leave the listener flat. Without a solid lyrical lead-in, the "Homesick Blues" phrase seems too simple and detached of a phrase. Somewhat hollow.

 

Sooooooooo, there are many ways you could go to tighten this up (if you should chose to do so, Mr. Phelps). . . . , but I'm too tired to come up with any. It's your song anyway. . . . , nice going so far.

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PS - Musically the "Nostalgia" line and the "Homesick" line are paired together where they need to inform and explain each other. It's like a tennis serve. The first line ("Nostalgia" line) is the toss up. The last line ("Homesick") is the smashing serve. They have to work together to win the point. In this musical form, the only thing the listener needs to remember(understand) for sure are these two lines. If they are strong, the listener will sift through and learn the rest.

 

good night.

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when it gets to "Homesick Blues" in the lyrics, i want there to be a call and response. However, I recorded it in one take, so I haven't added the background vocals that do the response. But if you're curious I will, because I want you to hear how it sounds, and I think you'll like it better.

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Hm, I'd love to give some constructive comment. But I can't, this is already awesome as it is. I love those small solo licks that come up every now and then, and I really like you're voice. You should definitely keep working on this one :)

Slightly off topic: How did you record the guitar? Acoustic guitar over mike, Electric-Acoustic directly plugged into the fasttrack interface, or did you somehow manage to make an electric guitar sound that way? :)

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Slightly off topic: How did you record the guitar? Acoustic guitar over mike, Electric-Acoustic directly plugged into the fasttrack interface

 

I did both and panned the mic to one side and the direct input to the other. just trying things out really because i've only really started recording about a month ago.

 

thanks for the comments again :) i really appreciate it

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