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New lyrics. Work in progress. What do you think?


Viktoriah

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Here are the lyrics of a song of ours that we intend to record in January. What do you think? Any comments? Looking forward to hearing from you!

 

Look What the Cat's Dragged in Tonight

 

Hey, I was fine!

Chatting with my girlfriends

And sipping at my wine.

Now, here's this bloke!

He's getting on my nerves

Is this somebody's joke?

He looks like a blind man

who must have dressed alone

He feels like a super hero

But My he's badly drawn.

 

Chorus:

 

Look what the cat's dragged in tonight!

He doesn't even feel my spite.

Such a pain in the back

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I was out with my girlfriends

Sipping my wine

Our fourth year to celebrate

Me turning thirty-nine

 

It's our regular bar

At our regular time

And the regulars know

That we're just here together

And really

We're all doing just fine

 

Chance dragged you in

Like a cat with a feather

A poorly drawn super hero

Under dressed for the weather

 

You approach in slow motion

I can count every hair

See down to your soul

Unhappy and lonely

Misshapen and dark

 

I don't need a new drink

Really, I'm good

I turn back to my girlfriend

Won't you go away?

But you are touching my shoulder

Leaning into my ear

Breathing down my neck

I stifle my scream

And pray to St. Francis

 

I am a bird

Singing songs in the wild

I can only be tamed

By the sound of your voice

Bring us your peace

Your blanket of love

In the grove of Assisi

Keep me safe from this wolf.

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From purely a meter perspective I like the way rsadasiv has approached this. I think meter goes a long way to making a song carry it own beat lyrically.

Can't fully judge unitl I hear the finished product with the music as that can deepy influence the tune.

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Can't fully judge unitl I hear the finished product with the music as that can deepy influence the tune.

 

 

Lyrics don't mean anything until set to melody and music. Then I will know if they work or don't work.

 

I will say, however, that I don't think anyone has used the expression "Look what the cat dragged in" since the 80s. At least in the USA.

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Thank you so much for reading this and taking the time to suggest things. Yes I do like, What Rsadasiv did and (I thank him for this). I agree it is much better on a metric basis.

However,we always write the melody first and it wouldn't match the melody unfortunately.

Like Duke of Boom, Ido and Leonard said, it's difficult to judge before hearing the melody.

I'm happy to see that my favourite ideas (the blind guy,super heros and Saint Francis) are appreciated by Grace and Leonard. I'm not really sure I understand why

the Chinese torture wouldn't fit, like Marsall said though. I rather like that part myself.

Anyway, back to work especially on the chorus then. Thanks a lot! You've all been very helpful.

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On the subject of meter: I don't like to comment on anyone's meter (without hearing the music) because you can never get a sense of where the song is going melodically from printed lyrics. Plus, I generally don't like lyrics that stick to a strict meter anyway. Somehow they seem boring and forced. I'd much rather hear something conversational that flows in and out of meter (syncopation?)

 

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Poetry is easy

Don't you wish you were as good as me at it. "

 

( ;) ;) ;)just a joke, you know.)

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