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Help with song? (Sleep)


Lee Knight

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I've finished my recording obligations for my last (I think) client. The studio is mine again. And want to start writing.

 

So there was a tune that I worked up and presented here. I've toyed with some ideas since a little bit. The youtube is me working out the melody and guitar. I'm hearing an upright piano echoing some of that guitar work. The bridge isn't played here, though I've written what I believe to be a good melody for it. The lyrics for that bridge are below...

 

Any input as to direction is welcome. Lyric missteps you see? Any and all input is good. I'll start working this up soon.

 

[video=youtube;dWNsFmjDDXs]

 

And the lyrics so far...

 

V1

Twenty four hours in the day

Half them you

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The intro sounds like a Pachelbel's Canon lift. I love that little transition (especially the ending chord) into the chorus and the guitar fills overall. I usually like to have a contrast between the verse melody/chords and the chorus melody/chords - the chorus seems like it is pretty set in a simple major so maybe a little dissonance in the verse melody would help.

 

The whole package is like a sweet and soothing lullaby. Re: orchestration/arrangement - how many musicians can you pack into a child's bedroom? Brushes/acoustic piano would fit, but I think it changes my picture of the performance setting.

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Most important question first:

how many musicians can you pack into a child's bedroom?

You can get a whole symphony orchestra in there as long as they're tiny enough...

 

Clearly, this is a lullaby in the classic tradition -- but it plays with that tradition, updating it with the second verse about buttons and repeat play, etc... In one way, this steps outside the perceived context set up in the first verse and demands a modern interpretation... and it sounds a lot like the day-in-day-out work week (or school week, perhaps, but school age children, of course, are notoriously resistant to lullabies -- at least when they think others may be watching. ;) ) Whether or not this 'works' sort of depends on what the intent/context is... It is a step out of the song -- and an early one, but that may be successfully strategic, since it gets that out of the way and recontextualizes the listener's sense of the song. But it is a jump.

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The intro sounds like a Pachelbel's Canon lift. I love that little transition (especially the ending chord) into the chorus and the guitar fills overall. I usually like to have a contrast between the verse melody/chords and the chorus melody/chords - the chorus seems like it is pretty set in a simple major so maybe a little dissonance in the verse melody would help.


The whole package is like a sweet and soothing lullaby. Re: orchestration/arrangement - how many musicians can you pack into a child's bedroom? Brushes/acoustic piano would fit, but I think it changes my picture of the performance setting.

 

 

Yes! I've worked up a less Pachelbel tune over those chords. A little simple syncopation did the trick.

 

I love the idea of a little dissonance in the verse. Like Habenero, just a little goes a ways.

 

I think I like the brushes idea.

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Most important question first:


You can get a whole symphony orchestra in there as long as they're tiny enough...


Clearly, this is a lullaby in the classic tradition -- but it plays with that tradition, updating it with the second verse about buttons and repeat play, etc... In one way, this steps outside the perceived context set up in the first verse and demands a modern interpretation... and it sounds a lot like the day-in-day-out work week (or school week, perhaps, but school age children, of course, are notoriously resistant to lullabies -- at least when they think others may be watching.
;)
) Whether or not this 'works' sort of depends on what the intent/context is... It
is
a step out of the song -- and an early one, but that may be successfully strategic, since it gets that out of the way and recontextualizes the listener's sense of the song. But it is a jump.

 

 

Excellent point about the modern counter/repeat stuff. i think I should trim that verse of the modernisms. Stay with the week thing but ditch the machine aspects. Good stuff.

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Lullabies are well trod territory. Hard to differentiate oneself. Your chorus reminds me heavily of Fred Penner's "Teagan's Lullaby." Used to sing it to my children.

 

 

I'll listen and compare. Change as needed. Thanks!

 

 

Edit: I'm back. If this is the one you're talking about, I don't think I'm hearing it... They both have that lullaby sound but the melody is very different, though they both provoke a similar mood. But I think that's OK. Are you talking about a different tune?

 

[video=youtube;UQ1ujCS4fBM]

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My intent, is to sing the virtues of oblivion. At one time for me, that would mean drugs or booze. Wonderful, sweet oblivion. Escape. And that's what sleep is. You can fly, you smile when your heart is weary... you can control your dreams. Oblivion. Respite from the day to day.

 

So really, I'm not singing to a kid, but to anyone I love and think they'd benefit from the wonders of oblivion. Sleep.

 

Now, weather I'm getting any of that or not, that's the idea.

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