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"...and Fade to Blue" - New Lyric, Still Working on the Tune


LCK

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This is kind of in the Frank Sinatra/supper club vein.

 

"...and Fade to Blue"

 

Verse:

Romance has its glamor.

And movies have their grammar

meant for more than eating popcorn in the dark.

They implore me to explore our story's arc...

 

Tune:

Fade in as we dance.

I zoom in on your smile.

We trade some clever words.

The cam'ra holds our eyes a while.

 

Dissolve to a montage:

the beach, the rain, a small cafe,

two lovers, hand in hand,

who will always be that way.

 

But cut to someone new

who complicates the plot.

And more than in your arms,

he's in your heart.

Clearly, I am not.

 

Hooray for happy endings.

Now all that I can do

is bless the part I played

and fade to blue.

 

 

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Romance has its glamor.

And movies have their grammar

 

Im not sure about that line especially for an opener

 

ARe movies known for grammer?

 

How about

 

Romance has its glories

And movies have their stories...

 

Im not sure what all the headings are above each section either? looks like a story board for a vid?

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Romance has its glamor.

And movies have their grammar


Im not sure about that line especially for an opener


ARe movies known for grammer?


How about


Romance has its glories

And movies have their stories...


Im not sure what all the headings are above each section either? looks like a story board for a vid?

 

 

I think it could work as

 

Romance has its grammar

and movies have their glamor

 

It's a bit of a stretch, but if you think of it in terms of romance having generally agreed upon rules, especially in the context of a Sinatra type song, I think it works well.

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Hi guys,

 

Thanks for taking the time read my words and offer suggestions.

 

I can see that I may have let my own knowledge of film-making get in the way of comprehension a little here. (I went to film school, back when I was in college.) Movies do, in fact, have their own form of "cinematic grammar."

 

Sorry for the confusion. Maybe I should have added a sub-title: "The Love Song of a Screenwriter." And maybe I should consider changing the opening, though I think it would still play well in a Manhattan night club, as is.

 

As for the headings that stickboy asked about, this particular song has a 32-bar structure of two 16-bar sections (divided into 8 bars each), with a 6-bar introductory verse. So I divided it into those two sections, the "verse" and the "tune." I don't know if that's correct, but I think that's the way jazz musicians like this kind of song to broken down.

 

This may all start to make more sense when I finish writing the tune, and upload it.

 

I hope so!

 

LCK

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Okay, here's the melody so far.

 

http://picosong.com/LMK/ (2:14)

 

My questions are about the transition from the first 8 bars of the main body of the song to the next 8, just before I sing the line, "Dissolve to a montage...

 

Also, I'm playing this with a C fingering of the chords, but it's written and sung in B (just in case this is confusing to anyone with perfect pitch). There's a chord and melody line I'm still not sure of, that ends on the line, "...all that I can do..." I end up on a C#, over an A7 chord, but it could just as easily be sung a half-note down, making it a C major over an A minor chord.

 

Those are some of the places I think this needs work. I'd be glad to hear what anybody else thinks about them, or anything at all about the tune, including the lyric, and whether you guys think this has any merit or is it just a pretty waste of time...

 

By the way, as usual, this is just the words/chords/notes, without solos, or instrumental flourishes. Bare bones.

 

Thanks!

 

LCK

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Okay, here's the melody so far.


(2:14)


My questions are about the transition from the first 8 bars of the main body of the song to the next 8, just before I sing the line, "Dissolve to a montage...


Also, I'm playing this with a C fingering of the chords, but it's written and sung in B (just in case this is confusing to anyone with perfect pitch). There's a chord and melody line I'm still not sure of, that ends on the line, "...all that I can do..." I end up on a C#, over an A7 chord, but it could just as easily be sung a half-note down, making it a C major over an A minor chord.


Those are some of the places I think this needs work. I'd be glad to hear what anybody else thinks about them, or anything at all about the tune, including the lyric, and whether you guys think this has any merit or is it just a pretty waste of time...


By the way, as usual, this is just the words/chords/notes, without solos, or instrumental flourishes. Bare bones.


Thanks!


LCK

 

 

 

Cool it all came together well - the intro lyrics are still bothering me but i assume you like them as they are

 

love the melody - great great vocal

 

couple of other lyrics and suggestions but feel free to ignore

 

I zoom in on your smile - that stuck out to me, how about - I focus on your smile

 

also

 

I sing my serenade

 

works fine im just wondering if - sing my sorry serenade - will do anything, for me it kinda rolls out nice but it may imply too much self pity

 

great track anyway

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Hi stickboy,

 

Thanks for listening and commenting. I really appreciate your input.

 

The "zoom" reference kind of has to stay; it's part of the cinematic vocabulary. (I can see now what a limited appeal this song may have...)

 

I like the idea of adding an adjective to serenade. I'm going to mull that one over.

 

I've been working on the tune some more, and will post the updated version later tonight. It's much better, I think.

 

LCK

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Hi stickboy,


Thanks for listening and commenting. I really appreciate your input.


The "zoom" reference kind of has to stay; it's part of the cinematic vocabulary. (I can see now what a limited appeal this song may have...)


I like the idea of adding an adjective to serenade. I'm going to mull that one over.


I've been working on the tune some more, and will post the updated version later tonight. It's much better, I think.


LCK

 

 

Yeh i understand the cinema reference which is why i suggested "focus", which also has a camera/cinema meaning but somehow doesnt sound so modern.... i know its not a modern word but for some reason it jumps out as one in song

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Yeh i understand the cinema reference which is why i suggested "focus", which also has a camera/cinema meaning but somehow doesnt sound so modern.... i know its not a modern word but for some reason it jumps out as one in song

 

 

+1 on focus being a better fit

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+1 on focus being a better fit

 

 

Huh. I'll have to try it out.

 

Thanks guys!

 

LCK

 

PS: I tried it, and it didn't seem to work. Not enough of a camera direction you'd find in a script for my taste.

 

However, on one pass through I tried this:

 

Fade in as we dance,

soft focus on your smile...

 

which I really like (at least right now).

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"slowly exit frame and fade to blue..." I like this line alternative best.

 

Aso the opening line doesn't sit right for me either but you could flip them them...IDK why but it feels better.

 

Movies have their grammar

Romance has its glamor.

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"slowly exit frame and fade to blue..." I like this line alternative best.


Aso the opening line doesn't sit right for me either but you could flip them them...IDK why but it feels better.


Movies have their grammar

Romance has its glamor.

 

 

Hi tbry,

 

Thanks for your comments

 

I agree on "slowly exit frame." The other lines, while perhaps showing a clever capacity for internal rhyme, don't get to the heart of the story.

 

I'm going to consider everyone's dislike of the introductory verse, but for now, it stays. We'll see what develops...

 

Thanks again,

 

LCK

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How's this?

Movies have their glamor,

and their cinematic grammar

meant for more than eating popcorn in the dark,

they implore me to explore our story's arc...

 

Does that solve everyone's problem?

 

LCK

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