Jump to content

I Am Alive: Have a listen please


bee3

Recommended Posts

  • Members

This here is a newer song of mine... it's 1/2 done. All the instrumentation was done in a studio... but I haven't cut vocals yet. The vocals you hear were done in Garageband and cut and pasted into the song. Clearly a very rough mix. Would really appreciate your feedback... especially since I'll be cutting real vocals in a few weeks.

 

Click here to listen.

 

I Am Alive

I... I am alive

You... you are the reason why

So take it if you need it now

We... we've got the time

We have got the time to figure why

So take it if you need it now

 

And just cause you think it's easy

Know it takes a lot to please me and

I know that you've got the spirit now

We'll get through somehow

 

Wait... wait just a while

Wait a while to see if I will smile

So take it if you need it now

 

And just cause you think it's easy

Know it takes a lot to please me and

I know that you've got the spirit now

We'll get through somehow

 

Just cause you think it's easy (we'll get through)

I know that you've got the spirit now (we'll get through)

I know that you've got the spirit

I can feel it

I can feel it

I can feel it

 

I... I am alive

You... you are the reason why

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Very Beatlesque. But different too. Lyrically, it's got some hooks, and a loose storyline. It's sorta half a Beatle song, and half a normal song, lyrically speaking. The Beatle stuff of that genre would be lyrically fun and totally wildly obtuse. This is lyrically fun, but has a hint of a storyline that is not totally there. There are enough hooky lines; "I am alive - you are the reason why," and "And just cause you think it's easy- Know it takes a lot to please me," to keep it moving along. Though they don't get explained in any easily understandable way.

 

But it's very enjoyable and it's worth more than one listen for sure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

You're clearly influenced by George Harrison. The song is nice, that drummer gets a little cymbal happy toward the end of the break... And in general actually? Drummers need to understand that the cymbals are accent pieces? And the whole song is not an accent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

You know, I love the Beatles... I love George Harrison, although Lennon was my favorite songwriter of the three. Thanks for you comments. Marshal, you were right on... the lyrics are somewhat vague... but I think I'm ok with it. This song really was meant to be a quick, fun, anthemic type of stoner song I suppose.

 

In general, I'm pretty happy that no one's called me out on my singing. :) (Consider it a work in progress).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

There are a handful of phrasing spots (mostly in the opening verse, seemed like you warmed up after that) that sounded funny, but you also are open about it being a rough cut so I'm not sure it is worthwhile pointing the specifics out.

 

The chorus is superb. Nice harmonies, I love that descending bass line and how the intrumentation moves along with it.

 

After the "ahhh" bit before the chorus comes back, I think it might be cool if the instrumentation drops off briefly. You don't need to do a generic sing-along, just something to reset things and give that last chorus more oomph. Perhaps have things drop off only on "just cause you" and then everything launches in again. Just an idea.

 

I'm not a big fan of the ending. I'd have just preferred a fade out of the chorus. As you yourself have said, there really isn't an important lyrical story and the chorus is where this tune hit me the most.

 

Again, the Beatle/Harrison thing is quite apparent. Didn't you say in another thread that you are a beginner to the whole songwriting thing? Doesn't sound like it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

There are a handful of phrasing spots (mostly in the opening verse, seemed like you warmed up after that) that sounded funny, but you also are open about it being a rough cut so I'm not sure it is worthwhile pointing the specifics out.


The chorus is superb. Nice harmonies, I love that descending bass line and how the intrumentation moves along with it.


After the "ahhh" bit before the chorus comes back, I think it might be cool if the instrumentation drops off briefly. You don't need to do a generic sing-along, just something to reset things and give that last chorus more oomph. Perhaps have things drop off only on "just cause you" and then everything launches in again. Just an idea.


I'm not a big fan of the ending. I'd have just preferred a fade out of the chorus. As you yourself have said, there really isn't an important lyrical story and the chorus is where this tune hit me the most.


Again, the Beatle/Harrison thing is quite apparent. Didn't you say in another thread that you are a beginner to the whole songwriting thing? Doesn't sound like it.

 

Yes... I've been playing in bands for years, but never really had the nerve to do anything on my own. Still don't actually... never played live or sang in public by myself. I bought a new keyboard last year and discovered GarageBand on my MAC... one thing led to another and here I am recording an album for the hell of it. GarageBand has really helped me organize my thoughts... I was never able to piece a song together in its entirety just by sitting there playing. I have to do it in sections...

 

Anyway, recording an album was always something I always wanted to do... I have the financial means to do it now so I'm going for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Hmmm... I'm new here and have no idea what you're talking about. I'll look around.

 

 

 

Sorry - Lee Knight has a regular feature called "The Friday Influences Thread" aka FIT. Lee asks people to post songs which have influenced them in the past week (or ever) and write a little bit about the song or how it influenced them. Basically, it is the one exception to the "on-topic only/no appreciation threads" rule, and it usually turns into a nice discussion of music which you might not have heard, might not have fully appreciated, or illustrates what various forumites are about, musically.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Sorry - Lee Knight has a regular feature called "The Friday Influences Thread" aka FIT. Lee asks people to post songs which have influenced them in the past week (or ever) and write a little bit about the song or how it influenced them. Basically, it is the one exception to the "on-topic only/no appreciation threads" rule, and it usually turns into a nice discussion of music which you might not have heard, might not have fully appreciated, or illustrates what various forumites are about, musically.

 

Nice! I'll look for it as I wrote a new song this week which was clearly influenced by something else... and no, it wasn't the Beatles.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This sounds like it could be a very good song. It's ultimate success - in my opinion - will hinge on the power and character of the final vocal. The song is there. All it needs is the voice.

 

You know what I'd like to hear over it? A female singer schooled in soul... An African American with killer pipes and delivery. Tenor with attitude. The kind of voice in all those awesome James Bond theme songs...something about this song echoes trippy and spacey 60s music for me... not sure why.

 

My mind is just going that way because there's just something... distractingly white about it, if that makes any sense. And I don't mean that in an offensive way. I'm distractingly white... So I'm an authority on this subject. It's soaring and lush and midtempo and awash in guitars and an organ... but there's no bump or sex in it. It's kinda shoe-gazey and kinda adult contemporary and kinda popular radio....

 

I guess what I'm saying is it could benefit from some kinda edge. It's certainly pleasant. It may or may not be really good. It'll come down to the voice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Matixmus... Thank you for that. It's interesting... I absolutely agree with your assessment. Vocals are my biggest concern (challenge). I don't even consider myself a singer. That being said, I WANT to do this thing on my own. I will certainly take your feedback to heart... I don't know if I have edge... and I may very well be the whitest guy on here. But I'm going to try... Best I can. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Matixmus... Thank you for that. It's interesting... I absolutely agree with your assessment. Vocals are my biggest concern (challenge). I don't even consider myself a singer. That being said, I WANT to do this thing on my own. I will certainly take your feedback to heart... I don't know if I have edge... and I may very well be the whitest guy on here. But I'm going to try... Best I can.
:)

 

And I didn't mean to knock the vocal in it - it just sounded like a rough take. So I took what you said in the thing so I was listening to it past the vocal. I think the melody is good. The material is already there. There's no doubt in my mind that you can make it really good. I think the key will be digging deep and coming up with something that stretches you as far you can go without straining to much, while keeping it honest.

 

George Harrison, as it goes, was famous for being a tad thin, vocal-wise. I think that's one of the big reasons he had such big sound with a lot going on around him on All Things Must Pass, although he later regretted the Spector treatment. Point is he didn't let that hold him back.

 

George could actually sing pretty good. But there's been tons of great guys who couldn't sing for {censored}....: Moby - who stuck with a flat delivery, when he bothered to sing. Lou Reed, who I think actually thinks he can sing... but makes it work because he's super cool and understands pop in a special way... Tim Armstrong of Rancid, who is so honest and good in not even trying to sing much less sound good singing... that he's actually better than most people that can sing pretty good.... Marilyn Manson fits into that too. Although he is mostly awful save for two or three brilliant songs. I mean, singing is beside the point for those guys. My favorite great-singing not good singer is Roger Miller, who is most famous for Dang Me and King of the Road. He actually had a compelling natural voice, a nice baritone. But he sang for {censored}, technically, out of tune and out of time and on his on time with scats and stops and starts and talk-singing and making weird cough sounding in his throat... HIs secret is he performed his songs more than he sang them, and he did it with such good humor and intelligence that's why it worked.

 

The whole point is being able to sing good is not a criteria to making good, interesting music. There are a lot of ways to work around that. I think the key is just singing with personality while sounding comfortable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...