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Bridge help? (AndSheSmiles)


Lee Knight

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So, I'm working on the bridge to AndSheSmiles. I have a melody and feel going in my head but haven't put it down yet. Sorry. But... I'd love some insight into those bolded lines below. (Or anything else too)

 

So, you have the whole lyric and video further down the page if you need to get acquainted with it. Or not... and maybe just look at this bridge and give your impressions. So the repetition give-give again-again I like and will work. And I like how the "it's going to take a while" leads back to the chorus "and she smiles".

 

But Pain, bleeds, needs... eh. They're so melodramatic. What I really want is that feeling of hollowness when we feel taken for granted. She does turn it around and smile, but she needs to feel that sadness here. Right now I'm down. That "I'm all outta love" moment.

 

Thoughts? Ideas? As always, your participation in this is most welcome and anticipated.

 

Bridge as it is now:

 

You give and you give and you give... it takes what it needs

Again and again and again through the pain till you bleed

How many years, now these newfound tears, it

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You give and you give and you give... it takes what it needs

Again and again and again you give it for free

 

?

 

You give and you give and you give... it takes what it needs

Again and again with both hands you cloth and you feed

 

?

 

You give and you give and you give... it takes what it needs

And all you've got isn't good enough to please

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you give give and give

for the giving is all they'll take


not exactly forgiving, but it alludes to it with a twist and it'll sing really well

 

 

Nice idea. Let me see

 

 

You give and give and give for the giving and still they take

Again and again never seeing it as some sort of mistake

 

 

 

You gave and you gave for the giving and still they take

Again and again never saw it as some kind of mistake

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You give and you give and you give was it all a mistake

Again and again and again hoping (drawing a blank....)

 

Something about the others being bloodthirsty succubuses rubs me the wrong way, something like above would make her more reflective about it, detached.

 

And perhaps a mildly positive shift (hoping) at the end will lead into that surprisingly optimistic final chorus?

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This maybe twists things a bit and is possibly a little edgier :idk:

 

You give and you give and you give, you take what you need

Again and again and again, cause it helps you to see

How many years....

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