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I had a lazy weekend and...


Ontological

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...finally got around to recording this song. It started out as a simple 12 string acoustic song but the "Rocker" inside me came out a bit in this one. I'm trying to convey the idea of a society that has lost all sense of decency and basically collapses from within. Hopefully that message comes across and the falsetto back up vocals doesn't kill it. :facepalm::confused:

 

I'm also conflicted about the title. I have it up on Soundclick as, We Found The Place but the original title was The Violence Screams. I'm not sure which I like better.

 

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=960990&songID=10839686

 

The Violence Screams/We Found the Place

 

V1 There

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Wow, I really, really like this one. And I'm happy the rocker in you came out. The build up really works out, and I love the backing vocals in the chorus. I'd probably make the percussive part a little "darker", though. Cut some of the hights, add a little punch to the bass or something like this.

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Yes, really like this one as well. You could go with either name but, imo "we found the place" would be my first choice. Less direct, more ironic & haunting. I can see Roman's point on the percussion, and it also works the way it is.

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Cool. It has an end of the world kinda vibe. Escape From New York? Falsetto sounds great. If anything... I want more lyrics for the 2nd pass through the verses. It really seems like "story" might work here. Maybe stepping back in time to talk about before it went to hell.

 

Was a time

Life was sweet

In our hands the future was held dear

 

Till the crime

And despair

Like a line in the dirt it was drawn clear

 

Giving up

Without fight

What's life worth when all hope's just a souvenir

 

 

or something. Awesome tune. You watching a lot of apocalyptic movies? :) Cool. Try reading Hater by David Moody. :thu:

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Cool. It has an end of the world kinda vibe. Escape From New York? Falsetto sounds great. If anything... I want more lyrics for the 2nd pass through the verses. It really seems like "story" might work here. Maybe stepping back in time to talk about before it went to hell.


Was a time

Life was sweet

In our hands the future was held dear


Till the crime

And despair

Like a line in the dirt it was drawn clear


Giving up

Without fight

What's life worth when all hope's just a souvenir



or something. Awesome tune. You watching a lot of apocalyptic movies?
:)
Cool. Try reading Hater by David Moody.
:thu:

 

Hey Lee,

 

I'll have to check that book out. I was wondering if the verse got a bit repetitive. I'll have to see if I can come up with something like you've suggested.

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Ok, so my lazy weekend has spilled over into Monday and I had some time to think about expanding the story a bit. This is what I came up with:

 

See the greed

Take it's hold

They were told

'Cause we warned them

 

When the seed

Starts to grow

There's no way

To control them

 

Filled their hearts

with disease

Now it bleeds

death and mayhem

 

Oh the wrong

became right

and the guilt

it destroyed them

 

The Violence screams

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Love it... Except

 

and the guilt

it destroyed them

 

Because the rest of the story doesn't sound like the {censored}ers have any guilt. They're man at his most depraved with diluted down morals. Guilt is a new twist out of the blue as far as I see. I like the rest though.

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A couple of issues with lyric meanings. Maybe I'm just missing something, but the lines 'where the road has died' and 'when you're dealing with the lonely kind' don't make sense to me. I'm not seeing anything else that introduces the concept of being on a road, nor anything that makes clear why the bad guys are lonely. Otherwise, I think the lyrics are great, especially the ones you added later.

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A couple of issues with lyric meanings. Maybe I'm just missing something, but the lines 'where the road has died' and 'when you're dealing with the lonely kind' don't make sense to me. I'm not seeing anything else that introduces the concept of being on a road, nor anything that makes clear why the bad guys are lonely. Otherwise, I think the lyrics are great, especially the ones you added later.

 

Don't worry I'm still trying to figure out what "Are we human or are we dancer" means. ;) The dead road is simply a metaphor to describe the emptiness and loneliness of people/a society who have lost any sense of decency/morality/fellow feeling. When all a person thinks about is himself then they become, to me at least, like a desolate wasteland because they ultimately end up destroying everything around them. And if an entire society follows this course then heaven help us.

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Don't worry I'm still trying to figure out what "Are we human or are we dancer" means.
;)
The dead road is simply a metaphor to describe...

 

I agree. I think the way you're using the term sort of alludes to some apocalyptic event and circumstance without having to go into it.

 

the-road.jpg

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