Members SwampDonkey Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 Jesus and Moses were strolling by the Red Sea, when Moses nudged Jesus and said, "Psst. Hey, Jesus, I've still got it." Moses turned towards the Red Sea and lifted his staff on high. The angels began to sing, the gentle sea breeze turned into a raging gale, and the waters of the Red Sea were parted. Moses lowered his arms and, with a smug grin on his face, turned back to face Jesus. Jesus scoffed. "Moses, my boy," said the Messiah, "I have still got it." And with a flourish of his robes, Jesus stepped onto the waters of the Red Sea and began to stride across without so much as a ripple. But to Moses' amazement, halfway across the water, Jesus suddenly began to sink. He splashed into the water and began to choke and flounder as the waves tossed him around. Moses grumbled at Jesus' sillyness and parted the water once more. Moses helped Jesus back to shore, as the Saviour hacked up salt water. When they had finally reached shore, Moses slapped a consoling hand on Jesus' shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it, Lord. Last time you tried it, you didn't have holes in your feet." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Metalman X Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SwampDonkey Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SwampDonkey Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 A little boy is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying his eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?" The boy turns to him and says, "My mommy and daddy were in their car and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there." The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RussAnderson Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know. 5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way? 6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. love that piece of scripture , as a Christian Jesus has a lot more to offer that than anything in this temporary decaying world i live in . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nazgul6 Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 There were 3 good arguments that Jesus could have beenBlack:1. He called everyone "brother"2. He liked Gospel3. He couldn't get a fair trial. I actually went to Catholic High School and then to the Catholic University of America and I take my wife and kids to church etc.. . .but this one is funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TornadoOfSouls Posted October 1, 2009 Author Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know. 5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way? 6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.love that piece of scripture , as a Christian Jesus has a lot more to offer that than anything in this temporary decaying world i live in . What the {censored} could an imaginary ghost made of crackers and wine offer to anybody besides false hope? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Digital Jams Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 Holy {censored} times have changed here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RussAnderson Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 ask yourself why you made this thread ie primary motivation , and why u have so much hatred towards jesus ie something u do not believe in the first place , that is all . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jaytee123 Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 ask yourself why you made this thread ie primary motivation , and why u have so much hatred towards jesus ie something u do not believe in the first place , that is all . Since when does making tasteless jokes=hatred? Some may not believe in Jesus, but His effect on a lot of people is real. And sorry to say, Bucko, not all of it is positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Savo Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 Someone help me out with this one...I'm too lazy to go look up semaphore and decode this joke. Thank-you! I will "de-code" it for you because helping others is the Christian way Young man, there's no need to feel downI said young man, pick yourself off the groundI said young man, 'cause you're in a new townThere's no need to be unhappyYoung man, there's a place you can goI said young man, when you're short on your doughYou can stay there, and I'm sure you will findMany ways to have a good timeIt's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zozobra Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. 4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know. 5 Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way? 6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. love that piece of scripture , as a Christian Jesus has a lot more to offer that than anything in this temporary decaying world i live in . I will "de-code" it for you because helping others is the Christian way Young man, there's no need to feel downI said young man, pick yourself off the groundI said young man, 'cause you're in a new townThere's no need to be unhappyYoung man, there's a place you can goI said young man, when you're short on your doughYou can stay there, and I'm sure you will findMany ways to have a good timeIt's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Johnny'sGotTheBlues Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 I will "de-code" it for you because helping others is the Christian way Young man, there's no need to feel down I said young man, pick yourself off the ground I said young man, 'cause you're in a new town There's no need to be unhappy Young man, there's a place you can go I said young man, when you're short on your dough You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find Many ways to have a good time It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 u are aware that there are christian members on here right?im not really offended just deeply saddened that an individuals primary motivation is to offend and mock blindly doing so. I was under the impression that religious threads aren't allowed on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TornadoOfSouls Posted October 1, 2009 Author Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 ask yourself why you made this thread ie primary motivation , and why u have so much hatred towards jesus ie something u do not believe in the first place , that is all . It was just a joke, calm down. If you'd read my posts related to religious debate, you'd know by now that I fully support one's right to believe in anything they want. Doesn't mean I can't joke about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members K-Bizzle Posted October 1, 2009 Members Share Posted October 1, 2009 Alright this has gone on long enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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