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Your Thoughts As A Listener


bobc

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I just started working on this song a few hours ago. The lyric is one that I wrote a long time ago, but had the idea for a better feel for it.

 

I added a chorus (well most of one), and there is already 3 verses, so I'm gonna make it... 2 verses... chorus... last verse... chorus.

 

I made a short recording of just the first verse and the chorus. I'm a little stuck on the last line of the chorus, so I just filled it in with whatever came to my mind at the time.

 

Let me know what your initial thoughts are as a listener. You can throw in some pointers musically as well, but mainly I just wanna get feedback from a listener's view.

 

Insecurity

 

Thanks in advance.

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It was a pleasant listen - I enjoyed the chords and vocal melody although they felt like many other songs from the past.

Where the song needs work is in its lyric.

Firstly, there are a number of 'done-to-death' lines that probably need to be reconsidered.

Also, 'Insecurity' is a theme (not necessarily a title) that has been written about sooo many times, and probably needs a fresh angle to the subject.

So in answer to your question, as a listener, I need that fresh idea in order to engage me.

 

Brutal but honest :)

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I just started working on this song a few hours ago. The lyric is one that I wrote a long time ago, but had the idea for a better feel for it.

mainly I just wanna get feedback from a listener's view.


 

 

I think the reason I didn't listen to this sooner is because you said you just wanted feedback from a listener's point of view. My pov is that of both a listener and a fellow songwriter -- mostly as a fellow songwriter -- so I thought it wouldn't be worth my time to listen. Sorry about that.

 

I think that what you have so far is really, really good. It has a nice, laid-back vibe, cool chords, and a very listenable melody. I really like the vibe I get from your voice too.

 

Lyrically, it's not bad either.

 

You think I do things to get your reaction.

You tell me I play games and you're the attraction.

I say that I doubt myself in your satisfaction

 

Everything had me hooked until you sang "in your satisfaction...," which doesn't work for various reasons.

 

I agree that the chorus and title could be improved, but overall it's a nice piece of music so far.

 

LCK

 

PS: It's helpful to post lyrics with your songs.

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