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I'm Going Back To Madison


Ontological

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Terrific! Great story, great tune, great arrangement.

 

I love the triple slant rhyme in the chorus: ohn, ahn, uhn. Splendid.

 

I would only change one thing. In the line "I wish this was more than a dream" the rhythm seems forced.

 

The lyrical twist at the end -- with "grab the camera" and "where I saw you smile" -- is fantastic.

 

Great job! Very well done!

 

LCK

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Nice tune.

 

It's got a wonderfully repeating melodic hook. Good story.

 

Listening to the end right now.....this one is definitely going to stick with me. One thing, though....that vocal delay is a bit too....constant......for me. Think about automating it to let the first part of the lyric come through.

 

Playing it again......:cool::wave:

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This is very good - I like it a lot.

I often feel the need to comment on song structures that maintain the vocal melody unchanged for 4 lines in a row. (Usually because the vocal melody is not that interesting).

But although you do this repetition, the melody is so engaging that I want it to repeat.

It also feels right, as it supports the mood of the song.

 

One comment - as the final line is significant, it needs to be better articulated. At the moment, it sort of disappears.

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In my opinion, the chorus needs to be more melodically and/or harmonically different from the verses. I found it somewhat tiring to listen to the whole song all the way through. The outro melody change is interesting; I would do something like that much earlier in the song.

 

I didn't really get the reveal at the end, but that's probably just me being thick. It wouldn't matter if the song had a little more melodic variety to engage my ear.

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This is very good - I like it a lot.

I often feel the need to comment on song structures that maintain the vocal melody unchanged for 4 lines in a row. (Usually because the vocal melody is not that interesting).

But although you do this repetition, the melody is so engaging that I want it to repeat.

It also feels right, as it supports the mood of the song.


One comment - as the final line is significant, it needs to be better articulated. At the moment, it sort of disappears.

 

 

Yeah I've got issues with articulation sometimes.

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I love the tune. I love your sense of rock. The way OGP noticed how the repetition works. You have that sense of rock attack and repetition and attitude. Even when the tune is not particularly a rocker. I love it.

 

A mix suggestion. The vocal double.

 

As your double stands right now, it's good but a little distracting. There a few different ways to go.

 

There's the totally covert trick where we don't hear hear it. I don't think this is what you're going for.

 

Then there's the, it's obvious there is a double but it is such a part of the sound we wouldn't think of changing it, I think this is where you want to be on this one.

 

Then there's the over the top double as effect. Gaining popularity lately and I'm digging it. Panned wide and treated and...

 

The means of getting the covert and getting the obvious but perfect double are the same. It's just degrees. The secret is to tone down the elements that draw attention to the double. How much you tone down determines if you're going covert or not and by how much. Following are some things you can try on the double to pull it back where you want it without it disappearing. Use together or separately:

 

1. Use a limiter and squash it. This removes any attention whore dynamics the double is try to pull. If a drunk guy at a party is breathing down your ear, you're going to hear all the dynamics. his plosives and consonants, spittle will all jump out. Convince him to take his beer and step away from you 10 feet and his dynamic will flatten out. I like him better over there. :)

 

2. Pull out the power frequency of the double. Voice power is in the mids. 1k - 2k. This is where we are most sensitive in our hearing. Great design by the man upstairs cause we hear most efficiently at this freq too. The delivery and receive methods are optimized for each other. Pretty cool. So pull out some stuff at 1k and hear your double politely step back a foot or 2 and surrender center stage to the lead.

 

3. Ambiance. That drunk guy you convince to tell his cool stroy over there instead of in your ear, he's more reverberant too. The ratio of room to direct drunk is shifting in your advantage.

 

So a double is kind of like a drunk at a party. You want some chaos at you fiesta. You just don't want them taking over. I'd get some control over your double and get him to step back without losing his sense of fun.

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.... If a drunk guy at a party is breathing down your ear, you're going to hear all the dynamics. his plosives and consonants, spittle will all jump out. Convince him to take his beer and step away from you 10 feet and his dynamic will flatten out. I like him better over there.
:)

2. Pull out the power frequency of the double. Voice power is in the mids. 1k - 2k. This is where we are most sensitive in our hearing. Great design by the man upstairs cause we hear most efficiently at this freq too. The delivery and receive methods are optimized for each other. Pretty cool. So pull out some stuff at 1k and hear your double politely step back a foot or 2 and surrender center stage to the lead.


3. Ambiance. That drunk guy you convince to tell his cool stroy over
there
instead of in your ear, he's more reverberant too. The ratio of room to direct drunk is shifting in your advantage.


So a double is kind of like a drunk at a party. You want some chaos at you fiesta. You just don't want them taking over. I'd get some control over your double and get him to step back without losing his sense of fun.

 

Lee's a guy who knows how to mix his drunks. ;)

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I love the tune. I love your sense of
rock.
The way OGP noticed how the repetition
works.
You have that sense of rock attack and repetition and attitude. Even when the tune is not particularly a rocker. I love it.


A mix suggestion. The vocal double.


As your double stands right now, it's good but a little distracting. There a few different ways to go.


There's the totally covert trick where we don't hear hear it. I don't think this is what you're going for.


Then there's the, it's obvious there is a double but it is such a part of the sound we wouldn't think of changing it, I think this is where you want to be on this one.


Then there's the over the top double as effect. Gaining popularity lately and I'm digging it. Panned wide and treated and...


The means of getting the
covert
and getting the
obvious but perfect
double are the same. It's just degrees. The secret is to tone down the elements that draw attention to the double. How much you tone down determines if you're going covert or not and by how much. Following are some things you can try on the double to pull it back where you want it without it disappearing. Use together or separately:


1. Use a limiter and squash it. This removes any attention whore dynamics the double is try to pull. If a drunk guy at a party is breathing down your ear, you're going to hear all the dynamics. his plosives and consonants, spittle will all jump out. Convince him to take his beer and step away from you 10 feet and his dynamic will flatten out. I like him better over there.
:)

2. Pull out the power frequency of the double. Voice power is in the mids. 1k - 2k. This is where we are most sensitive in our hearing. Great design by the man upstairs cause we hear most efficiently at this freq too. The delivery and receive methods are optimized for each other. Pretty cool. So pull out some stuff at 1k and hear your double politely step back a foot or 2 and surrender center stage to the lead.


3. Ambiance. That drunk guy you convince to tell his cool stroy over
there
instead of in your ear, he's more reverberant too. The ratio of room to direct drunk is shifting in your advantage.


So a double is kind of like a drunk at a party. You want some chaos at you fiesta. You just don't want them taking over. I'd get some control over your double and get him to step back without losing his sense of fun.

 

Thanks Lee for the suggestions. What setting do you prefer when you limit a vocal? I know the variables are many but if you could give a basic idea that would help. Glad you like the tune. Time to try it out on the masses at Open Mic Night. I just got done with adding some electric guitar so I'm gonna upload that new version in a second. I'd like your feed back on how it sits in the mix as well.

 

Cheers,

Deric

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Terrific! Great story, great tune, great arrangement.


I love the triple slant rhyme in the chorus: ohn, ahn, uhn. Splendid.


I would only change one thing. In the line "I wish this was more
than
a dream" the rhythm seems forced.


The lyrical twist at the end -- with "grab the camera" and "where I saw you smile" -- is fantastic.


Great job! Very well done!


LCK

 

I get what your saying about the line seeming a bit forced but it doesn't bother me too much. Plus, I like the line so I probably won't mess with it. Although now that I'm conscience of it I may subconsciously work on fixing it. ;)

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Thanks Lee for the suggestions. What setting do you prefer when you limit a vocal? I know the variables are many but if you could give a basic idea that would help. Glad you like the tune. Time to try it out on the masses at Open Mic Night. I just got done with adding some electric guitar so I'm gonna upload that new version in a second. I'd like your feed back on how it sits in the mix as well.


Cheers,

Deric

 

 

Do you have a straight up limiter? Like an L1 or the Massey limiter o the Pro Tools Maxim? If so, just shave the peaks so the body of the signal is untouched but everything above is shaved off. Leave the settings as is and just work the threshold so the meter moves on everything above the body of the vocal. If not, take your compressor and move the attack all the way to fast. The set the release pretty fast but not all the way... then shave the peaks.

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Do you have a straight up limiter? Like an L1 or the Massey limiter o the Pro Tools Maxim? If so, just shave the peaks so the body of the signal is untouched but everything above is shaved off. Leave the settings as is and just work the threshold so the meter moves on everything above the body of the vocal. If not, take your compressor and move the attack all the way to fast. The set the release pretty fast but not all the way... then shave the peaks.

 

 

I'm recording this one in Logic and I've attempted to apply your suggestions. Hopefully it sounds better: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=960990&songID=11154711

 

I could probably get away with bumping the lead vox up I think.

 

Thanks for the help.

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Thanks Lee for the suggestions. What setting do you prefer when you limit a vocal? I know the variables are many but if you could give a basic idea that would help. Glad you like the tune. Time to try it out on the masses at Open Mic Night. I just got done with adding some electric guitar so I'm gonna upload that new version in a second. I'd like your feed back on how it sits in the mix as well.

 

 

Late to the game, so I haven't heard the previous version - YMMV.

 

I was getting chimey-overload - some of the harmonies/timing on the electric guitar in the beginning was bugging me specifically but by the end I was just really hoping for a broader and more varied EQ range and a greater variety of sonic textures. Lose the electric guitar and/or the piano, add more body to the acoustic guitar (and less reverb), choose bigger snare sound, and run a de-esser over the vocals. The backing "Aahs" are nice, and could be emphasized more with contrast in the reverb - make the verses dry, and then bring in some really wet backing vocals in the chorus.

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The vocals sound great.

 

Now, there seems to be a serious issue with the electric. It simple terms, it's out of tune. But... I suspect it may be the chorus effect. And maybe even both. As the intro happens the acoustic guitars sound great. Then the piano comes in and it has a nice relaxed tuning relationship that still works great. Then the electric comes in and... it's out.

 

I'd bypass the electric's chorus effect and see if that's it. And retrack if it is the guitar itself. It's a serious issue and I'm not sure how I missed it before.

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The vocals sound great.


Now, there seems to be a serious issue with the electric. It simple terms, it's out of tune. But... I suspect it may be the chorus effect. And maybe even both. As the intro happens the acoustic guitars sound great. Then the piano comes in and it has a nice relaxed tuning relationship that still works great. Then the electric comes in and... it's
out.


I'd bypass the electric's chorus effect and see if that's it. And retrack if it is the guitar itself. It's a serious issue and I'm not sure how I missed it before.

 

 

Yeah I get that same feeling. It may be the effects so I'll see.

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Cool. I think the second verse is stronger than the first. There's somehting about the language in the first verse that could use some sprucing up. To my ears I'd consider something like:

 

We lay around like newlyweds

Forget the clothes; jump in bed

Laugh for hours then fall asleep

I wish this wasn't just a dream

 

Just a suggestion. Very good, though.

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First off, Great song both with melody and lyrics. Nice arrangement performance, recording and production.

A few niggles though and this is just my own observations and ones that other's haven't mentioned

1. I felt you were coming in a tad too late with your vocals. After the end of a line then starting the next, I expected you to start singing but there was a delay

that got me somewhat nervous, but I found relief when you resumed and started singing that line.

2. There was a couple spots that the vocals dropped down in volume and a few words I couldn't make out.

3. I'm on the fence with the chosen keyboard lead not the melody of it but the chosen tone/preset etc. It is a different from most of the keyboard tones I've heard before and perhaps might be satisfying to some

and appropriate for the tune. I personally may of used something different, instrument or preset wise

The 3 things I mentioned above have nothing to do with this very cool song

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As long as everybody likes to talk instrumentation. I'll just say the instrumental introduction goes on a little too long for my sensibilities. You're probably doing a full verse or something. But that's hard to carry off when the song hasn't been established. i prefer a briefer intro that gives a taste of the melody, but then gets out of the way of the vocal getting the song moving. Long intros (unless they are stellar in their own right) will make me click off a song. I'm not a spectacular guitar player myself, so I try hard to limit my intros to a little taste of the song then move on to the meat of the matter.

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