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New song and my first attempt with an upright bass...thoughts?


justaguy88

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Any thought and opinions are welcome. The song is called Silver Sun. Here is the link: http://www.purevolume.com/TheSideProject35243 Here are the lyrics:

 

Lift away

Above the gates

Drawn to you

Like a siren's song

 

Overgrown

Twisted lanes

Simple in

Complex ways

 

Now days are like drops in

lakes to be lost in...

 

Through the silver sun

Lost what you had won

Time marked our paths

Now I'm caught in your eyes

 

Against the blades

We would run

Through empty streets

And crooked homes

 

Now days are like drops in

lakes to be lost in...

 

Through the silver sun

Lost what you had won

Time marked our paths

Now I'm caught in your eyes

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What is the rhythm sound in the back? It seems a little distracting. It keeps the tempo, but the timbre seems a little too blurry. Maybe a snare drum with brushes instead?

 

I think the arrangement is really good and the vocals as well. Maybe a little less reverb on them, or maybe shorten the reverb decay time a little.

 

Great chord progression and wonderful vibe.

 

Overall, this song is very good. I'd listen to this regularly.

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I feel like I am on a small raft, and the water has gentle waves that are undulating me, moving me along. A warm breeze brushes against me, and the rhythm of the waves against my small one man raft is just barely noticeable but ever so comforting, like the rocking of a baby in mom's arms. By the end of the song my raft arrives gently on a smooth sanded beach, yet the feeling of the comforting waves continues.

 

That's my critique.

 

Rick

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I'll second the other folks' positive comments about the dreamy, laid-back vibe of the song. Very relaxing. When I read through the lyrics, the meaning seemed a little too opaque, but as I listened to the track, that didn't seem to matter.

 

I do have one criticism to offer: The song form seems a little disjointed to me. Each A section runs through the same melody/harmony twice, then...a pause. I got the feeling of being left hanging. After each pair of A sections, I suggest eliminating the musical interlude and going right into the B section. I'm not sure about what to do with the interlude between the A sections within a pair. Maybe that one would be o.k. if you went right into the B section at the end of the paired A sections?

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