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Original Song/Exercise in writing a topic song/feedback from colleauges


remsgmusic

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To all my fellow songwriter/musicians. I need some feedback/opinions on my original song "Tea Party". I was not able to find anyone in my area to record it, so I created my own demo (I play all the instruments). Please take a few minutes to listen and give me your opinion. Not necesarily a political statement, just an amatuer songwriters exercise in writing a "commercial" song. Thanks. Peace and love. Bobby

 

PS. Had a problem with this site uploading the demo. Below is a link to the YouTube version online.

 

 

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Hi, remsgmusic!

 

Welcome to the HC Songwriting Forum. This has a lot of charm (and probably even more for those already on board with the song's politics ;) ) and sounds pretty good. The vocals have a nice, classic 50's country feel.

 

I don't normally comment on lyrics unless they're posted somewhere but I did catch a couple parts that didn't quite have the spark that exists elsewhere in the song. (For instance, the phrase that went something like, "c'mon, let's brew some tea"... I couldn't help but think a little more searching/tinkering might lead you to something with a little more bite, there.)

 

But, before I go any farther with constructive critique, I did notice that your YT page says the song is already available for commercial use.

 

So, you're probably not in the market for constructive criticism, which is what this forum reserves song-threads for. (You can check out the guidelines in this sticky thread: http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showthread.php?2732356-WELCOME-to-the-SW-FORUM-Guidelines-Resources-PLEASE-READ-BEFORE-POSTING -- and I suspect I already know what you're going to say, so, let me just say, don't sweat it, no one seems to see that sticky before their first post here. :D )

 

Anyhow, welcome to the forum. I hope you'll stick around, discuss songwriting issues, give feedback to others, and, when you have a song you're actively working on that you need feedback on, please feel free to post it. (And you can post finished songs, vids, old songs, you name it, in our Showcase Threads, which you can also read about in the Welcome/Guidelines sticky.)

 

:)

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I was left with the uncertainty of whether the song was a parody of, or in support of the Tea Party.

I think perhaps the tone of the delivery could define which way you're looking. If not, then it may require a tweak to the lyric.

 

Your opening line created an expectation in me for a Feel-like-I'm-fixing-to-die-rag type parody, but it didn't arrive.

 

BTW - we do keep track of US politics across the pond.

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To all my fellow songwriter/musicians. I need some feedback/opinions on my original song "Tea Party". I was not able to find anyone in my area to record it, so I created my own demo (I play all the instruments). Please take a few minutes to listen and give me your opinion. Not necesarily a political statement, just an amatuer songwriters exercise in writing a "commercial" song. Thanks. Peace and love. Bobby


PS. Had a problem with this site uploading the demo. Below is a link to the YouTube version online.

 

 

Hey, Bobby,

 

You've got a great voice. And you do all right on the playing side too.

 

The song sounds really good, and may have some commercial appeal on country radio. (I don't know much about modern country music, I'm afraid).

 

I'd like to see the lyric, written out, so that I could make some specific comments. In general, there seem to be some really clever bits of wordplay, and some that might be a bit "tried and true."

 

Nice song, though, overall.

 

LCK

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Thanks. Greatly appreciated. I'll post the lyrics. Just an exercise in writing for a specific purpose. A friend approached me about the topic and I gave it a shot. I also thought it may have some commercial appeal. Let's see what happens. I usually write, considering all the instruments, words, tempo, riff, etc..., in my head and then see how things fit together. My stuff is never intended to be a final product, just my feeling on what it should sound like. Thanks again. Take care.

 

Bobby

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