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"I'm leaving" New song and Music Video.


Shaw2222

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Got quite a groove going there.

 

Like the verse melody. The chorus is fine by itself, but aside from the harmonies, it's very similar to the verses. It works through the first use of the chorus, but after that a bit of monotony sets in. Perhaps because the cool groove you have going continues right through the chorus, basically unchanged. Nothing that is not fixable. I guess my final comment on that is "surprise me" in the choruses.

 

You asked about the video. I don't mean to be a stick in the mud, but I have only seen one "I'm a one person band" video that has worked for me. Your video, through well done from a technical standpoint, basically says "look at me, I play all the parts..." To be honest, that "message" is of interest for about 10 seconds, the after that, my interest drops.

 

The one, and only one, video of this type I have seen that worked beautifully is one where the "one man band" aspect is conveyed, but it is embedded in an entertaining video. It was a mixture of fun and surprise. I'm sorry I don't have the URL to give you. But the bottom line is that people want to be entertained. You have a good song, you do play well and sing well. Now, crank up the interest level in the video and you'll have something special.

 

Sincerely,

 

Rick

 

PS:

 

Below is NOT the video I was referring to in the discussion above. But it is, in my humble opinion, the one man band thing taken to infinity.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDBkySeyiDo

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Hello everyone, how are you all?


If you have a moment, would you be kind enough to check out my new song and let me know what you think? Also, please let me know your opinions of my video too... It's real basic, but it's my first attempt...


Thank you!

 

 

It's really good! Nice work.

 

I like the video, especially as a first attempt.

 

There's only one minor problem, the volume is very low on the video.

 

Other than that it's great. You have a lot of talent.

 

LCK

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Well done. The song rocks. I don't think the song is monotonous, that's just the style of music. Your delivery keeps up the energy level, and the length is just right. As for the video, practice will help you to make the transitions flow better. If you're using Vegas, there are many ways to segue between scenes. You might also think about recording some scenes outside of your studio, and from different camera angles. This is where an assistant can come in handy. All in all, a good first effort.

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It's really good! Nice work.


I like the video, especially as a first attempt.


There's only one minor problem, the volume is very low on the video.


Other than that it's great. You have a lot of talent.


LCK

 

 

I probably should point out, though, that this site is about presenting works in progress, and getting feedback from others about how to improve your songwriting skills. This song seems like a finished product, not a work in progress.

 

The place to post something like this is the monthly showcase thread: http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showthread.php?2861345-January-2012-SHOWCASE-Thread-Finished-work-videos-career-news-BSP-gossip...

 

Regards,

 

LCK

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Wow, thanks for the encouraging words!

 

I agree Rick, I should probably mix up the angles and such bit more to make it more interesting. I guess I just wanted to keep it simple for my first attempt.

 

I'll try and up the master volume on the next one I do too!

 

And yes, I use Vegas, so I'll definitely work on my transitions. The night I edited this video was the first time I've ever used Vegas, so I have lot's of learning to do!

 

I see what you're saying LCK, I thought it was still cool to post works that were nearly finished too,to get feedback and advice for future projects. But I'll keep this in mind!

 

Thanks for taking the time to listen and post!

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Nearly finished works!

 

You know, it's ultimately got to be an honor system. If someone's got a song that they are working on -- or even just about finished with, I think we can, should keep some wiggle room. Also a few of us work on vids (of some kind) simultaneously.

 

As long as people are sincerely in the process of working on the song, I think we can and should draw the line on the inclusive side.

 

(But, you know, once the bikini girls and big budget video get involved, that in-progress-honor-system fig leaf will be looking a little suspect. ;) )

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