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Shut The Hell Up


dramey

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I found this on an old backup disk. I only vaguely remember writing it. I think I had some chords to go with it at one point, but I don't remember what they were, it's got to be at least 10 years old. Im not sure why I never did anything with it, I think it has potential :)

 

She said,
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It has definite potential as one of those "f___ you" anthems. Of course, getting the music right will be critical to whether it flies or not. I'm imagining an up-tempo rock sound, maybe punkish?

 

Two lines bugged me a little, though.

 

1) This one is pretty minor, and may just be due to the fact that I wore out my Bad Company's Greatest Hits cassette back in the day. The line "tear drop in his eye" in the second verse immediately made me think of "Shooting Star."

 

2) Of more consequence is the line "You're just looking for some sympathy" in the chorus. It sounds like a well-used cliche, plus it doesn't really fit the story lines of verses 2 through 4. You might want to come up with something different for each iteration of the chorus, something tailored to the story line of the preceding verse.

 

Overall, a good effort. Definitely worth retrieving from the dust bin.

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1) This one is pretty minor, and may just be due to the fact that I wore out my Bad Company's Greatest Hits cassette back in the day. The line "tear drop in his eye" in the second verse immediately made me think of "Shooting Star."

 

 

I had that same cassette. I didn't catch that however. I cant say it bothers me all that much even though you pointed it out, but now that you have, it probably will...

 

 

2) Of more consequence is the line "You're just looking for some sympathy" in the chorus. It sounds like a well-used cliche, plus it doesn't really fit the story lines of verses 2 through 4. You might want to come up with something different for each iteration of the chorus, something tailored to the story line of the preceding verse.

 

 

Good point. Maybe something about being attention starved instead.

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