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Country style love song(When you are all alone)


Mahuska

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When you are are alone

http://soundcloud.com/mahuska/when-you-are-all-alone-master1

 

The whispering and the talking that is behind your back

Kinda put's you down

 

The laughter and the smiling that you see through the day

you find unmaksed a frown

 

Theres's a feeling growing, kinda getting near the end

There is a a feeling showing

 

time to lose another friend

 

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

 

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

 

 

I'm walking down to the corner, to watch the children play.

Does it make you wonder"it was only yesterday?

 

Well then I traveled and I searched searched, saw and I dreamed

thought that I had found the light.

 

 

Yet we Argued battled until I fihnally screamed, I

wish that we would never fight

 

All alone but the clothes on my back, guess I'll travel round

I know that's it's strange, but I'll find me a place puts where

me down

 

Through this long migration hope will understand

What those's people are saying

the wrong messages that they send

 

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

 

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

 

 

I'm walking down to the corner, to watch the children play.

Does it make you wonder"it was only yesterday?

 

 

Well then I traveled and I searched searched, saw and I dreamed

thought that I had found the light.

 

 

Yet we Argued battled until I fihnally screamed, I

wish that we would never fight

 

 

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

 

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

 

It's a strange sensation baby, when you are alone

 

 

TEll me where is my home?

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Nice tune, particularly the melody.

 

My one thought as I listened to song a 2nd and 3rd time, and this may very well be my limited mental abilities at work here, is that the song grabed me in the first few lines story wise (I was thinking "wow.." when I heard the first two lines), but then I seem to loose focus in different places as the song progresses. By focus I mean "what is the real story I am hearing".

 

I think I "got it" but only on an intellectual level. But it became fuzzy to me as the song progressed from a gut level. Bits and pieces would resurface to support the main story as the song progressed.

 

I am probably not making too much sense here. Again, it's probably my limited mental abilities at work here, but I'd like to see the story tightened up so that my emotional self can follow the tune as well.

 

Liking it otherwise.

 

Rick

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Nice tune, particularly the melody.


My one thought as I listened to song a 2nd and 3rd time, and this may very well be my limited mental abilities at work here, is that the song grabed me in the first few lines story wise (I was thinking "wow.." when I heard the first two lines), but then I seem to loose focus in different places as the song progresses. By focus I mean "what is the real story I am hearing".


I think I "got it" but only on an intellectual level. But it became fuzzy to me as the song progressed from a gut level. Bits and pieces would resurface to support the main story as the song progressed.


I am probably not making too much sense here. Again, it's probably my limited mental abilities at work here, but I'd like to see the story tightened up so that my emotional self can follow the tune as well.


Liking it otherwise.


Rick

 

 

+1

 

The rest of the lyrics aren't bad, they just aren't as compelling as those first two lines, and they seem to be mining a different vein. Definitely a disconnect.

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Thanks you guys, I haven't been back here for a week or so to rely.

All of what you said makes perfect sense. This song was wrote hastily back

in the 70's when my Girl friend and I was having issues. There was a lot of emotions at the time.

With the lyrics as I see them now are very "disconnected" as I included alienation

from people in general and should of stayed more on the one on one relationship.

When I performed it(back then lyrics didn't seem too important to a live audience)

I sang it different, more powerful almost Joe Cocker like.

This is kind of funny. I heard about a local talent show back then and a $100.00 prize for 1'st place.

I walked into the place to see a river of Cowboy hats and me and my then long hair stood out. As the night went on people were doing covers using a live band from Nashville and it was Country stuff.

So when I went up with just my Acoustic Guitar I tried to sing it different, more like Country sans the accent.

I walked out with the $100.00 first prize much to my surprise.

I kind of wanted to see what people here thought of the music and perhaps a few good lines and if it deserves a total re-write of the lyrics, perhaps keeping a few.

Lyrics and messages here and there

thanks

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Well, then don't listen to me! That's $100 more than I've ever earned with music (though I did win a songwriting comp with "Perfect" a couple years ago, {pats self on back})

 

 

No no no, that was way back then. I take advise here seriously. I just wanted opinions if the melody and some of the lyrics warrant me re-visiting it and working on things especially lyrics. I am getting to the point that I

am not as attached to some of this older stuff and am willing to make major revisions. Hope this clears things up

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