Jump to content

Funtime Sunshine Camping Holiday (Version 3)


Recommended Posts

  • Members

EVEN NEWER VERSION NEW VERSION 6/2/2012: change ending to fade out instrumental

 

NEW VERSION 6/2/2012: Changes: New middle verse, brief instrumental, smaller/more focused final verse, and starting song with refrain, shortened ending. Other smaller changes.

 

Funtime Sunshine Camping Holiday

©2012 Rick Dieffenbach

 

A Fun Time Sunshine Camping Holiday

 

When it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I like the launch in and the immediate verse, but I think you need to give the listener one taste before hitting top speed. Even something as simple as an open hi hat just to get us ready might be enough.

 

I have a couple melodic ideas for vocal extenstions on "go" and "away" (lines two of the verses) but it'll be a whole lot easier to just sing it than type it out.

 

The strings at the end of the chorus are wonderful.

 

"Soon will all be taken" is phrased funny. It sounds better if you start "will" just after where "all" ends now. This might another that is easier to demonstrate verbally.

 

Nice horn there, though you might want to cut some of the highs.

 

"Gonna take them back" is very cool, as is the interlude with the acoustic lead. In fact, I liked that interlude so much, that I wish you never brought back the vocals and just faded on that part.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

This is AMAZING. I can almost feel myself skipping down the street... maybe Sesame Street... as a kid on the last day of school knowing that my parents have the stationwagon packed to the gills with our camping gear... and its VACATION TIME.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

I like the launch in and the immediate verse, but I think you need to give the listener one taste before hitting top speed. Even something as simple as an open hi hat just to get us ready might be enough.


I have a couple melodic ideas for vocal extenstions on "go" and "away" (lines two of the verses) but it'll be a whole lot easier to just sing it than type it out.


The strings at the end of the chorus are wonderful.


"Soon will all be taken" is phrased funny. It sounds better if you start "will" just after where "all" ends now. This might another that is easier to demonstrate verbally.


Nice horn there, though you might want to cut some of the highs.


"Gonna take them back" is very cool, as is the interlude with the acoustic lead. In fact, I liked that interlude so much, that I wish you never brought back the vocals and just faded on that part.

 

 

>> Oswek... I'm quite sure if you listen closely you will hear it (now) fade out during the instrumental. :-) I'm lovin it. GREAT idea. Thanks!

 

Love yo hear your go and away ideas

 

Will look at the the top speed warning. Need to play with that, but also a good idea!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

This is AMAZING. I can almost feel myself skipping down the street... maybe Sesame Street... as a kid on the last day of school knowing that my parents have the stationwagon packed to the gills with our camping gear... and its VACATION TIME.

 

 

Glad you like. Actually, I still skip... :-)

 

 

Rick

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

It's getting better!


I miss the rainbows though.


Oh well...


LCK

 

 

I liked it too, it was two good lines. Along with Kayaking, which is a special pleasure for my wife and I to do. But I needed to shorten things...

 

Thanks for the listen and thoughts.

 

Rick

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Here is the final song. More lyrical revisions. Thank you all so much for your help. I think it's the best tune I ever wrote, and performed.

 

If only Sesame Street was still being produced....

 

But I like it anyways.

 

Funtime Sunshine Camping Holiday

©2012 Rick Dieffenbach

 

A Fun Time Sunshine Camping Holiday

 

When it gets too much and I

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Infectious! I love this song!!! The vocals... all of them including the strange background vox, sound great. The bass (or whatever it is you're using there) sounds really cool. Great job!

 

You pack a ton of creativity into 3:22.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Wow! You've come a long way from that camping recording. Sounds GREAT! I just love the lyric. Songs are supposed to make us feel something, and this just goes right for my memories of childhood camping trips. All great memories. Sesame street is right! Perfect. Those feelgood moments on the show with all the characters dancing and smiling. Big Bird with zinc oxide on his beak! Really cool idea and wonderful job of realizing that idea.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...