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"My Liminal Life"


HoboSage

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I'm relatively sober right now....and I really like this.:cool:

 

Your playing style is wonderful. Vocal delivery works.

 

And......I also like the lyrics. The only thing that catches me is the title. Liminal a great word, but it might cause some to ponder a bit.

 

Which could be a good thing I guess.........:wave:

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Those are some pretty solid strong singer song writer solo stuff.

 

 

 

Pick you favs to do for you show.

 

They are all a tough similar in vibe, "Because You Are" , being the most different I would say.

 

So pick your favs and go to town

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Felt the intro instrumental was a bit long. Maybe ok for a live event however.

 

Strong song, rates high on the coolness scale and sincerity scale. Guitar backing works nicely, but I'd snip the intro about 50%. It looses its "oh that's interesting" ranking about 50% into intro, besides we get to hear that throughout the song.

 

I know you are mostly interested in the solo performance that could be adjusted in the mix. The guitar in some intense sequences of the song sounds overpowering to me over the vocals. I am on audio mixing headphones. Its not bad, it's just so strong in places it pulls attention away from what you are singing.

 

I did look up liminal in Wikipedia. I'm ok with the fact the fact that I did not know what it meant, and I am guess, many won't. But it's one of those words that it really doesn't matter; its the emotion of the tune that carries the song. Besides, if you are playing this live, it would be a good dialog point with the audience before the song starts.

 

Rick

 

 

Rick

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Some thoughts:

 

* Rick is right, the intro is too long for this format. Consider coming in with vocals around the 0:14 mark.

 

* Your first line sounds like you are already out of breath, comes off a little rough.

 

* Can you sing the pre-chorus a little less restrained? The bridge has the same cool scratchiness, but it sounds like you are cutting loose, and I think that tone is better. The final prechorus is also looser, it is just those first two that feel like you are demoing the idea rather than letting it fly.

 

* I want the guitar to be a little quieter the first time you sing "my liminal life".

 

The bridge is fabulous and I have no problems at all with the lyrics or melody. The points above are mostly nit picking trying to respond to your specific questions.

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It's weird. I normally don't do the intro as long as I did with this take, and I'm not not sure why I did. I think maybe I was putting off having to start singing. :) I did the best I could singing given how congested in the sinuses I am. I really do sing this much better than I did here. And, I confess, I didn't even bother to warm up. So, that's probably why I sounded better as the song progressed.

 

I guess I should also confess that when I wrote the song, I didn't even know "liminal" was actually a word. I just used the term because I figured if "subliminal" means below the threshold of awareness, then I could use "liminal" to mean at the threshold/just barely perceptible. Go figure. :)

 

Thanks, guys for the very substantive feedback. It's much appreciated.

 

David

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I like the long intro. I really like the backing track on this cut.

 

When you first came into the first chorus "such potential such a curse", (do you consider this the chorus?), I literally jumped out of my seat. It scared me. In my opinion you need some sort of build up before you blast that out. Maybe just a little build up on the guitar or when you record it with a band it could be done with drums.

 

Your singing different melodies on each of the lines. I think if you found a consistent melody and ended on the same notes it would be easier for the audience to follow and the song and would be more pleasing.

 

I am a big repeated chorus guy. You didn't give me anything to sing in the shower.

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I don't have a problem with the length of the intro.

 

Some of the rhymes you have here are pretty great. Tight, not always expected, but make sense and don't feel like they are driving the song. Well done.

 

I didn't know what liminal meant either. I didn't look it up till after the song. During I was trying to figure it out. I thought maybe it had something to do with a lemming.

 

Most of the people that hang out on this forum are pretty smart and reading other responses I don't think anybody was familiar with the term. My gut tells me it should be more obvious, but maybe not.

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I guess I should also confess that when I wrote the song, I didn't even know "liminal" was actually a word. I just used the term because I figured if "subliminal" means below the threshold of awareness, then I could use "liminal" to mean at the threshold/just barely perceptible. Go figure.
:)

David

 

Like you, I didn't know if 'liminal' was a word, but I got idea that it was the opposite of 'subliminal'. Kind of like I don't know if it's possible to be 'couth' or only 'uncouth.' I like the notion. There are some very nice lines in here - "every moment I face I face the truth.' The feel and melody have a very contemporary sound while still being in the singer/songwriter vein.

 

FWIW, I like the out of breath feeling in the first line - it sounds like your tired from desperation and struggle, which I think is the point of the song.

 

Nice.

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There's an almost Andy Partridge of XTC meets Micheal McDonald vibe to this that is really cool and totally unexpected. I really like 95 percent of it. Some of your lines are very cool.

 

strange alchemy is turning gold into lead

 

^^^ that great! And...

 

starched collar

silk-tie yoke

so hard to swallow I

almost choke

on my liminal life

 

^^^ I love it. And I love the unfolding of the music and the build off it. The uncommon chords and melody. But there is one thing I think that would make this very, very good.

 

I'd get rid of any trace of melodrama.

 

I used to think that destiny was mine

once upon the daydream of my youth

now I know differently

every moment I face I face the truth

 

This is cool so far because you're refering to a time when melodrama would make sense. Before you knew "the truth"

 

 

 

such potential

such a curse

 

But this ^^^, for me, dropped. It's taking itself too seriously. I love "potential" and "curse". But "such" is too mock heavy for my taste. If anything, you should be looking at it with black and bleak humor "I got potential, man that's a curse"

 

it should be better it

could be worse

than my liminal life

 

More like this ^^^ I love it.

 

I work so hard but I don

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