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"She Takes Pictures" -- 3.0 - a bit closer to finished


LCK

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I came up with these extra melodic elements a while back, which I quite like. But I fell into the trap of turning what was a character study into a romantic tune. It took me a while to come up with some cool and clever words to fill those new melodies. I think I've done it, though some of it is a bit surrealistic, free-associating, etc.

 

I should be able to upload a rough recording later tonight.

 

 

She Takes Pictures

 

She likes taking pictures.

Her world
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I wasn't expecting the extra parts, but I love it. The only thing that stuck out to me is terribly minor, but I might as well say it:

They'll keep her taking pictures.
But there's always one more roll...
These lines aren't contradictory, so the "but" is out of place. Something like this feels better to me:

They'll keep her taking pictures.
Yes, there's always one more roll...
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Quote Originally Posted by Oswlek View Post
I wasn't expecting the extra parts, but I love it. The only thing that stuck out to me is terribly minor, but I might as well say it:
Good point.

I'm glad that's the only thing that stuck out at you!

LCK
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Quote Originally Posted by shortchord View Post
If something is in the depth of field, it is in focus. If it is out of focus, that means that it is outside the depth of field.
Technicalities...wink.gif

Actually there are two ways to look at that. She doesn't have much depth of field in this particular shot, which means that some things are going to be out of focus.

Maybe it's a stretch, but I'll probably keep it unless I can come up with something better that also has a hint of an internal rhyme.

Thanks for everyone's comments so far.

LCK
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Quote Originally Posted by NeverTheMachine View Post
I like the lyrics. Looking forward to hearing it with the recording. I'm curious, did you come up with the idea and lyrics first, or did you have a melody and music parts as well?
The title came to me first. I wrote it down in a notebook, along with some possible verses (very few of which I kept, if any). Then I came back to it later, started fooling around with some chords I probably stole from another song. The chord changes morphed into something new, which changed the lyric, which in turn changed the tune.

The new stuff was inspired by a Kat Edmundsen's version of a Katie Melua song, "Just Like Heaven."

I almost always start with ideas.

Ideas create flow. Flow creates structure.

LCK
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Quote Originally Posted by shortchord View Post
If something is in the depth of field, it is in focus. If it is out of focus, that means that it is outside the depth of field.

In the flashbulb's afterglow
a shadow is revealed
that barely holds its focus
in her depth of field ... ?

In the flashbulb's afterglow
a shadow is revealed
almost out of focus
in her depth of field ... ?


LCK
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Quote Originally Posted by LCK View Post

In the flashbulb's afterglow
a shadow is revealed
that barely holds its focus
in her depth of field ... ?

In the flashbulb's afterglow
a shadow is revealed
almost out of focus
in her depth of field ... ?


LCK
The latter is my choice, if you decide to change it.
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Quote Originally Posted by LCK View Post
I think that line might become a favorite for the person in question, if she ever hears this song.

My take on it is that she's not seduced or even interested in the quality of fame inherent to some of her prime photographic subjects. She doesn't buy into their external show-biz personae; she always hones in on their true nature. In that way, she's nobody's fool.

LCK
Absoutely. I get that. It was the use of hepcat lingo that had me concerned. No providing of a contrast between her and her subjects. But I dig, Daddyo. Have you considered adding a "but"?

Rock stars, hoods, and hipsters,
all denizens of cool
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Quote Originally Posted by LCK View Post

In the flashbulb's afterglow
a shadow is revealed
that barely holds its focus
in her depth of field ... ?

In the flashbulb's afterglow
a shadow is revealed
almost out of focus
in her depth of field ... ?


LCK
Or maybe:

just slightly out of focus
beyond her depth of field
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Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight View Post
Absoutely. I get that. It was the use of hepcat lingo that had me concerned. No providing of a contrast between her and her subjects. But I dig, Daddyo. Have you considered adding a "but"?

Rock stars, hoods, and hipsters,
all denizens of cool
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Quote Originally Posted by shortchord View Post
Or maybe:

just slightly out of focus
beyond her depth of field
Outside her depth of field might work better, except it's too many syllables.

Depth of field isn't always an exact thing. It depends on the light, the shutter speed, and the f-stop.

Then there's the fact that "depth of field" in this song is a metaphor.

So it's tricky.

LCK
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Quote Originally Posted by LCK View Post
I think that line might become a favorite for the person in question, if she ever hears this song.

My take on it is that she's not seduced or even interested in the quality of fame inherent to some of her prime photographic subjects. She doesn't buy into their external show-biz personae; she always hones in on their true nature. In that way, she's nobody's fool.

LCK
After reading your explanation, I get what you're saying, but I'm not sure that comes across in the lyric.

As it reads now the focus, at least to me, remained on the subject matter of the pictures because it said taking 'their' pictures. To make it clearer, I think the focus needs to be on the pictures themselves. I think it might even be more on the money to have it be about the process of taking pictures, but I can't think of a way to do that.

Rock stars, hoods, and hipsters,
all denizens of cool
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Quote Originally Posted by Oswlek View Post
I think the point is that she does capture these shadows, so it needs to be in her depth of field.
But they're captured out of focus, so they're beyond the depth of field. If they were in the depth of field, they would be in focus to the same extent as the main subject.

Luke.jpg

^^ The person sitting in the armchair in the background of this picture is beyond the depth of field. He is captured in the photo, but out of focus.
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Quote Originally Posted by shortchord View Post
^^ The person sitting in the armchair in the background of this picture is beyond the depth of field. He is captured in the photo, but out of focus.

The person... out of focus... is my father.
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