Members LCK Posted October 24, 2012 Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by bee3 anyone want to write the third verse? I so hate writing lyrics. Does it really need a third verse? I don't think so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by LCK Does it really need a third verse? I don't think so. In my head... I was thining it wasn't done. It's just two verses and two choruses... I've fallen into a habit of writing really short songs lately. Maybe, at the very least, an instrumental outtro? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted October 24, 2012 Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight Sometimes I can't seem to give a damn But can't find a better plan... does it show? It's not that I don't care what you think of me Actually on the contrary... you know Sometimes I feel like letting go Turn out the lights, turn on the stereo This is my favorite of the LK offerings. Justin, this song is terrific. It seems to stay in a similar place throughout, but that could be fixed very easily with some production (guitar or harmonies creating the urgency that the lead vocals don't quite convey). Thought you might want to know that one listen of this song gave me an idea for something totally different than I've been writing lately. Already came up with a chorus and the guitar, as well as a loose melody for the verse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight Sometimes I can't seem to give a damn But can't find a better plan... does it show? It's not that I don't care what you think of me Actually on the contrary... you know Sometimes I feel like letting go Turn out the lights, turn on the stereo A little too abstract. (I can't believe I'm saying that). Originally Posted by Lee Knight Sometimes I feel like a withered man Beaten up and also ran... I do And though it might take a little while I'll try and force a smile... for you I like this... not sure about pulling the 'you' aspect into it though. I haven't mentioned another person yet... kind of keeping this character completely insulated. The reciprocity reference I guess is as close as I want to get to pulling someone else into the story. Originally Posted by Lee Knight This always feels like a pointless dance But I buckle up and take a chance... I try If you ask me how I got this way I'm not sure what I'd have to say... or why Still like the withered man reference the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by Oswlek This is my favorite of the LK offerings. Justin, this song is terrific. It seems to stay in a similar place throughout, but that could be fixed very easily with some production (guitar or harmonies creating the urgency that the lead vocals don't quite convey). Thought you might want to know that one listen of this song gave me an idea for something totally different than I've been writing lately. Already came up with a chorus and the guitar, as well as a loose melody for the verse. Thanks! That's great... I'm finally an influence! Here is my direct influence for this one... in fact, it was around midnight the other night and I decided I wanted to watch this video before bed... as soon as it ended, I picked up the guitar and tried to come up with something cool, which ended up being this song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted October 24, 2012 Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 He is awesome, what I find funny is that he tests the tuning with dark, minory noodling and then jumps into a more major song. It is funny because he does the exact opposite on another one. He noodles in major and then launches into a really somber tune. I'll see if I can dig it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 24, 2012 Moderators Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by LCK Does it really need a third verse? I don't think so. I agree. Still, it was fun sticking to that cool rhyme pattern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 24, 2012 Moderators Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by bee3 Thanks! That's great... I'm finally an influence! Here is my direct influence for this one... in fact, it was around midnight the other night and I decided I wanted to watch this video before bed... as soon as it ended, I picked up the guitar and tried to come up with something cool, which ended up being this song. I've never heard him. That's great... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight I agree. Still, it was fun sticking to that cool rhyme pattern. Really? You guys think its done??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight I've never heard him. That's great... He was, I believe, a FIT discovery for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 24, 2012 Moderators Share Posted October 24, 2012 Originally Posted by bee3 Really? You guys think its done??? Yeah. I think so. You can do a lot with what you have. You got a couple of three pretty cool and stand on their own hooks or motives. (there's that word again). Then again, it is short enough that a 3rd verse might be cool. Or a bridge, something altogether new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 25, 2012 I'm hoping to work on this tonight... didn't have the energy last night to do anything really. What do you think of an instrumental bridge, then the chorus one last time, but very subdued... almost to the point of it being vocals only... maybe just acoustic guitar and vocal... very quiet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Members Share Posted October 25, 2012 Woh... my Hammond is getting closer.http://www.gangstacow.com/b3chop/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted October 26, 2012 Members Share Posted October 26, 2012 Are the foot pedals a mechanical or an electronic connection? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Bump.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Bee posted a terrific version of this on the sister site. http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11977040 Sometimes I'm good in certain companyOther times I sit awkwardly aloneIt may be due to circumstanceThat I prefer to take a chance aloneSometimes I feel like just letting goTurn out the lights, turn on the stereoSometimes I'm into reciprocityAvoiding all animosity... I knowIt's a perfect plan 'cause it works for meAnd in my head where no one else can see... I'm proneSometimes I feel like just letting goTurn out the lights, turn on the stereo Sometimes I'm good in certain companyOther times I sit awkwardly aloneIt's a perfect plan 'cause it works for meAnd in my head where no one else can see... I'm proneSometimes I feel like just letting goTurn out the lights, turn on the stereo I love, but felt it phrased funny in a few spots, so I offered an alternate:http://picosong.com/3wWx Here you go, Bee. I just played through from start to the end of C2, offering two alternates for that opening C line. Personally, I like using the second option as a twist on listener expectations, though I'm not sure I'd do it in C2, I might save it for C3.I also dropped the "where" from the last line of V2, not only does that flow better, IMO, but it clarifies the line for me. Do with this what you wish.You sang "sometimes" and "turn out" more casually, which is better than I have here. We are just looking for some feedback on which phrasing you prefer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 It would be so cool to hear you guys doing this together.......just sayin'....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Originally Posted by LeonardScaper It would be so cool to hear you guys doing this together.......just sayin'....... Justin & Justin (Don and Phil E) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Originally Posted by Oswlek We are just looking for some feedback on which phrasing you prefer. Hmmmm.........well, I kind of like this one. Certain Company (JustinD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Originally Posted by LeonardScaper Hmmmm.........well, I kind of like this one. Certain Company (JustinD) This might be a fun idea..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 He Len, could you PM me and share how you got that terrific dry echo in there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Originally Posted by Oswlek looking for some feedback on which phrasing you prefer. There are good points about both of them, but Oswelek's is definitely better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted November 5, 2012 Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 I like both. btw, all this collaboration is putting a lie to the loneliness expressed in the lyric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Originally Posted by LeonardScaper Hmmmm.........well, I kind of like this one. Certain Company (JustinD) I'm humbled. That was a really nice take... I love it. It has just the right amount of Lenny in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Members Share Posted November 5, 2012 Originally Posted by LCK There are good points about both of them, but Oswelek's is definitely better. I haven't had a chance to get back to this yet... possibly tonight. I'll have to give it a try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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