Members Crunchtime Posted October 10, 2012 Members Share Posted October 10, 2012 Mrs. Johnson was at the gynecologist getting an exam when the doctor said," Mrs. Johnson, I have to tell you, you have the biggest {censored} I've ever seen in 26 years of practice." Mrs. J was outraged. She got dressed and left the office. She was absolutely furious and could hardly drive home. Upon arrival at her home, she proceeded to tear the full length mirror of the bathroom door and threw it on the living-room floor. She then stood over the mirror to inspect the gigantic {censored} for herself. Just then her husband walked in and asked, "What the {censored} are you doing?" " I'm {censored}ing ice-skating! What does it look like?", Mrs. J screamed. Mr J then said, " Well, then don't fall in that huge hole, Bitch." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrelusive Posted October 10, 2012 Members Share Posted October 10, 2012 i laughed. i practiced it out loud. will tell at future parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitarcapo Posted October 11, 2012 Members Share Posted October 11, 2012 Op's avatar comes to mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SnowStorm Posted October 11, 2012 Members Share Posted October 11, 2012 Was hoping for better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pepi Posted October 11, 2012 Members Share Posted October 11, 2012 My turn to say 'meh' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ComOp Posted October 11, 2012 Members Share Posted October 11, 2012 A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, ''You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?'' The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. ''One day,'' he begins, ''I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.'' ''No {censored}?'' says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued. ''Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.'' The small headed man continued. ''Keep going!'' The interested bartender exclaimed. "I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, 'You now have three wishes.' I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, 'I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.' She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, 'What will be your second wish?'" The small headed man said. ''What next?'' begged the bartender. He sighed wistfully and went on, "I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, 'I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.''She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours! Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, 'You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?' I looked at her and replied, 'How 'bout a little head?'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members isvoid Posted October 11, 2012 Members Share Posted October 11, 2012 Thread is properly titled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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