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Do you also have an itchy anus?


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I don't know what's wrong with me but I often have an itchy anus. My underwear always has skid marks and my fingers always stink. I usually wipe pretty good but every since I got married, my wife keeps a box of baby wipes and a bottle of witch hazel on the back of the toilet. These things are good for an itchy anus. If your anus itches at home, follow these instructions.

 

Sit on the toilet like you were going to poop and wipe your anus down real good with a baby wipe. It will stink. You may need another but thats ok. Next, fold up a length of toilet paper and dump a decent amount of witch hazel on it. Dab your tender anus with the toilet paper. In a few seconds your anus won't itch! Don't forget to wipe the poop crumbs and anus hairs off the back of the toilet.

 

You're welcome.

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I hope your throwing away the baby wipes down the sewer
:freak:

I bet the real reason for your problem is the Goatse thing you are doing to yourself
:D

 

WTF do you think I do with those baby wipes? Fashion them in to curtains? Of course I flush them.

 

I can't even get my little finger 1/4 of an inch into my anus let alone two hands, believe me, I've tried to milk my prostate and failed to the 10th level.

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I don't know what's wrong with me but I often have an itchy anus. My underwear always has skid marks and my fingers always stink. I usually wipe pretty good but every since I got married, my wife keeps a box of baby wipes and a bottle of witch hazel on the back of the toilet. These things are good for an itchy anus. If your anus itches at home, follow these instructions.


Sit on the toilet like you were going to poop and wipe your anus down real good with a baby wipe. It will stink. You may need another but thats ok. Next, fold up a length of toilet paper and dump a decent amount of witch hazel on it. Dab your tender anus with the toilet paper. In a few seconds your anus won't itch! Don't forget to wipe the poop crumbs and anus hairs off the back of the toilet.


You're welcome.

 

Note...

 

Additional instructions:

 

Depending on your "Orientation" if required, please remove the other mans penis from your anus before baby wiping...

 

xgx

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WTF do you think I do with those baby wipes? Fashion them in to curtains? Of course I flush them.


I can't even get my little finger 1/4 of an inch into my anus let alone two hands, believe me, I've tried to milk my prostate and failed to the 10th level.

 

You may need to call these guys in the future :D

 

truck2.jpg

 

goatse_guitar.jpg

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  • 4 months later...
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A small dose of Hydra cortisone cream will eliminate "itchy anus" syndrome. Your fingers will also smell much better.

 

Thanks! :wave:

 

Witch Hazel also works very well. I'll ask my wife to bring home some Hydr cortisone cream. I'm always open to suggestions regarding my malady.

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Careful when applying the cream to teh anal cavity that you don't "accidentally" slip your finger in and find yourself enjoying it. You will then be considered "Teh Ghey".

 

Things going into my anus aren't welcome. I find that sad since there's an orgasm ball in there. :cry:

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