Members groovmongrel 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 I don't know what's wrong with me but I often have an itchy anus. My underwear always has skid marks and my fingers always stink. I usually wipe pretty good but every since I got married, my wife keeps a box of baby wipes and a bottle of witch hazel on the back of the toilet. These things are good for an itchy anus. If your anus itches at home, follow these instructions. Sit on the toilet like you were going to poop and wipe your anus down real good with a baby wipe. It will stink. You may need another but thats ok. Next, fold up a length of toilet paper and dump a decent amount of witch hazel on it. Dab your tender anus with the toilet paper. In a few seconds your anus won't itch! Don't forget to wipe the poop crumbs and anus hairs off the back of the toilet. You're welcome. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members Fuzzboy 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Thank you for those soothing words. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members dcooper830 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 10 pages minimum. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members sufidancer 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Heres yer sign. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members abecon5 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 cut down on the a2m/gape Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members groovmongrel 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Hey man, I'm just trying to help. I know there's other guys out there with my problem. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members BusterBuster 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 I hope your throwing away the baby wipes down the sewer I bet the real reason for your problem is the Goatse thing you are doing to yourself Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members Mrmot 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 10 pages minimum. 12 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members Ron Burgandy 1 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members groovmongrel 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 I hope your throwing away the baby wipes down the sewer I bet the real reason for your problem is the Goatse thing you are doing to yourself WTF do you think I do with those baby wipes? Fashion them in to curtains? Of course I flush them. I can't even get my little finger 1/4 of an inch into my anus let alone two hands, believe me, I've tried to milk my prostate and failed to the 10th level. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members jaytee123 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 If we eliminate dingleberries, the word "dingleberries" will become obsolete. Do we really want that? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members Moshaholic 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 I don't know what's wrong with me but I often have an itchy anus. My underwear always has skid marks and my fingers always stink. I usually wipe pretty good but every since I got married, my wife keeps a box of baby wipes and a bottle of witch hazel on the back of the toilet. These things are good for an itchy anus. If your anus itches at home, follow these instructions. Sit on the toilet like you were going to poop and wipe your anus down real good with a baby wipe. It will stink. You may need another but thats ok. Next, fold up a length of toilet paper and dump a decent amount of witch hazel on it. Dab your tender anus with the toilet paper. In a few seconds your anus won't itch! Don't forget to wipe the poop crumbs and anus hairs off the back of the toilet. You're welcome. Note... Additional instructions: Depending on your "Orientation" if required, please remove the other mans penis from your anus before baby wiping... xgx Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members groovmongrel 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 If we eliminate dingleberries, the word "dingleberries" will become obsolete. Do we really want that? That word is only used by five year olds and n00bs. Which are you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members groovmongrel 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Author Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Note... Additional instructions: Depending on your "Orientation" if required, please remove the other mans penis from your anus before baby wiping... xgx Don't forget to wipe your lap. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members misle 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Somebody needs more fiber in their diet... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members jamesclark 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Wouldn't a dog be a lot easier? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members BusterBuster 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 WTF do you think I do with those baby wipes? Fashion them in to curtains? Of course I flush them. I can't even get my little finger 1/4 of an inch into my anus let alone two hands, believe me, I've tried to milk my prostate and failed to the 10th level. You may need to call these guys in the future Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members Oblivion DC 2 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 Probably the grossest thing I've ever read on here. Way to spoil my appetite. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members SevenString 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 I think my main problem with the post is that while reading, I was picturing Lemmy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members JKD 0 Posted February 1, 2008 Members Share Posted February 1, 2008 I think my main problem with the post is that while reading, I was picturing Lemmy. Now there's a man who looks like he as an itchy anus....prolly an itchy few other things too Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members groovmongrel 0 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Members Share Posted June 4, 2008 So how's your anus today? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members Spizzledude 1 Posted June 4, 2008 Members Share Posted June 4, 2008 A small dose of Hydra cortisone cream will eliminate "itchy anus" syndrome. Your fingers will also smell much better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members groovmongrel 0 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Members Share Posted June 4, 2008 A small dose of Hydra cortisone cream will eliminate "itchy anus" syndrome. Your fingers will also smell much better. Thanks! Witch Hazel also works very well. I'll ask my wife to bring home some Hydr cortisone cream. I'm always open to suggestions regarding my malady. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members Spizzledude 1 Posted June 4, 2008 Members Share Posted June 4, 2008 Careful when applying the cream to teh anal cavity that you don't "accidentally" slip your finger in and find yourself enjoying it. You will then be considered "Teh Ghey". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Members groovmongrel 0 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Members Share Posted June 4, 2008 Careful when applying the cream to teh anal cavity that you don't "accidentally" slip your finger in and find yourself enjoying it. You will then be considered "Teh Ghey". Things going into my anus aren't welcome. I find that sad since there's an orgasm ball in there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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